Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for May 12, 2001

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Breaking out from behind the bench, he travels the land, doling out his hard-nosed justice. He's...JUDGE SCALIA Carrying his lunch, a fresh kill he spent the morning stalking, JUDGE SCALIA comes upon the scene of a police action. Judge Scalia: What's this? Woman: Judge Scalia! Thank goodness you're here! This officer is ARRESTING me for not wearing my SEAT BELT! Judge Scalia: Listen, Missy! You BLEEDING HEARTS wanted these liberty-restricting laws! This policeman is just enforcing them! Woman: But don't I have a right to be free from unreasonable seizures? Boy: MOMMY! Judge Scalia: Hey, I protect businesses and landowners from government intrusion, not DEFENDANT SCUM like YOU! Take her in, Officer! Policeman: Thank you, Judge. Judge Scalia: Hello, Souter? Get out here and write this up! Woman: But my child...! Judge Scalia: Don't worry, little guy. If your mom has nothing to hide, she's got no reason to fear a body cavity search! WAHH