Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for November 16, 2002

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Presents: News of the Times Baby-Eating Aliens Party Victorious The newly formed BABY-EATING-ALIENS PARTY thrashed Democrats and Republicans, taking control of the White House and both houses of Congress. Alien: When we arrived on Earth, we vowed not to use our super weapons. ...but rather we'd get your babies through legitimate democratic processes. Alien #2: Thanks! For the babies! The election caps a stunning campaign in which the party's plainspoken candidates won debates... Man: You ATE 3,457 human babies! Alien: Seems more like a couple hundred to me... Are you gettin' FANCY with numbers? ...and flooded television with political ads. If you slowed down Republican Mac Walker's voice, it sounds like THIS: Mac: MMYY BIILLLLLSSS Democrat Ryan Selbin's face can be freeze-framed looking like THIS: Alien: I just wanna do some baby-eatin'. XORP3 Baby-Eating-Aliens Party Norm Fellows, Political Analyst Norm: The Republicans and Democrats spent so much time saying they're AGAINST baby-eating, they never really said what they're FOR! Woman: The baby-eating-aliens were very sincere -- they said right out, "We want to eat your babies." Which we now know is good for the economy. Republicans and Democrats are already strategizing for the next election. Man #1: We're taking the baby-eating issue AWAY from the aliens. Man #2: Yes. Now WE'RE in favor of baby-eating, too!