Daddy's Home by Tony Rubino and Gary Markstein for January 30, 2023

Actually, they were right.

One pill makes you larger

And one pill makes you small

And the ones that mother gives you

Don’t do anything at all

Go ask Alice

When she’s ten feet tall

Tony asked, about 8 hours ago

Got kids?

No; livestock isn’t allowed in our flat.

Eggs are very healthy.

Again, MILITARY SCHOOL!

and those children starving in Japan weren’t… well most of them anyway

I see nothing wrong with any of those things, as long as they are taken in moderation.

Of that list, only sunshine is questionable – and then only in excessive amounts (which are, I concede, getting smaller).

Most of them were right, except cigarette smoking being good for digestion. That was a bit off!!

Well they were go for us at the time, who knew they would mutate into something hazardous.

parenting sure is difficult

The kid is right, though. Diets high in those foods cause heart disease and sunlight causes skin cancer.