The Barn by Ralph Hagen for March 29, 2023

Cry me a river. People need to be forewarned.

When I was a teenager during the late 60s, I won a newspaper contest sponsored by the Hartford Courant. Tickets to a Sonny and Cher concert, being held at the Bushnell Auditorium, were to be awarded for entries naming the most useless piece of information possible. My entry was one of the winners. I counted the number of times the letter “r” appeared on the front page of the Sunday edition of the Courant (it was 42), and I won.

let’s close up that line, people!

Ok, everybody space out.

Handy information Rory. Now if the moon ever catches fire we can form a bucket brigade to put it out.

and if they all farted simultaneously, the moon would be ripped from orbit and hurled into space

⁽ ʷᵒᵘˡᵈ ˢᵒ ⁾

LOL! At least Rory keeps busy…

His math is off. Number of people (assuming 8 billion to keep it simple) times 6 feet per person divided by 2580 feet per mile gives us the length of the line, about 18,604,651 miles. The moon is about 250,000 miles away, so there and back is about 500,000 miles. Divide that into the length of our people line gives us about 37 times. And, yes, I am a math teacher…

frog drink through their skins, and turtle breath through their butts (or so I’ve read). and some bugs smell with their feet.

No information (that’s accurate) is useless. …it might not be relevant at the moment however.

Rory’s Facts Clinic.

Turtles breathe through their butt

If everyone joined hands in one big ring around the earth, 2/3 of them would drown.