Monty by Jim Meddick for May 01, 2023

A man on a park bench is talking to a woman next to him and admiring the dog at her feet.

Man: Does your dog bite?

Woman: No.

The man pets the dog and immediately the dog bites him.

Man: I thought you said your dog doesn’t bite!

Woman: That’s not my dog.

Just a bit of chewing, thats all, he usually just spits it out.

Text book dog petting 101, chapter 1, how to avoid getting your face gnawed off.

Wisdom 101: NEVER believe anyone who says their dog doesn’t bite. Corollary 1: Don’t go into the wildlife area and try to pet the bison, bears, sea lions, etc.

You should always ask the owner before touching their dog. Usually, the dog will then know you have the boss’s permission.

I had a Dalmatian once and people would ask if he bites, and after I said yes, half of them would pet him anyway.

https://www.google.com/search?q=pink+panther+does+your+dog+bite&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS913US917&oq=pink+panther+does+you&aqs=chrome.0.0i512j69i57j0i512l2j0i22i30l5j0i390i650.7411j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:d55f1c8b,vid:E5yKy0684Cg

“Also, he never lets go.”

I’ll have to remember this one so I can ask dog owners: Does the dog gnaw?

That’s gnawed what Monty was expecting.

Jarvis lost his job, evidently. :)

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.” —Mark Twain

Buddy does this. Everything goes into his mouth.

Semantics can be deadly, Monty! Gnaw on that thought for a while….