Monty by Jim Meddick for June 28, 2023

I want to be in that store and be able to buy stuff like that for the 4th. But by mischance, every state I ever lived in disallowed real fireworks. 8P.

WHO SAID THAT?

One fourth of July a neighbor, who was a chemist, built a rocket. It lifted off and rose about 40 feet, arched over and landed in the dry vacant lot next to his house catching the weeds on fire. Never saw a guy run so fast with the hose and in full panic mode. His buddy was laughing. I asked if I should call the fire department. His buddy said no. He was a volunteer fireman and said they could put it out which they did.

Sales Strategy: Shame men into buying something more expensive by pointing out that other choices are not masculine.

First we cherrybomb the toilets.

I’m going to pass on the bowel buster

That guy dressed in fatigues probably never saw one day in military service.

I picture this arc leading right up to the 4th. of July. I also picture Moondog and Monty behind bars at about the same time..

Made me laugh out loud today. To all those wanna be contractors out there, get a real nail gun!

I still have a scar on my hand from the dreaded “sparkler wire” burn life lesson, that I learned as a kid……

Major Pain?

I remember as a kid my buddy and I would ride our bicycles up to the fireworks tent and get fireworks. We’d light off fireworks for a week. Good times!

It’s so dry this year that I am manning the hoses and forgoing setting any off. In my neighborhood, you can set them off year round, but hardly anyone does except on the 4th and New Year’s Eve. I have often set them off for Chinese New Year. In 2024 it will be on Feb 10 and it will be the Year of the Dragon!

Don’t forget the “Premature Deafeners” and the “Now They Call me Lefty” versions.

When I turned 20 in a small western Oklahoma town I worked graveyard on the railroad. I asked a good friend if we wanted to shoot off fireworks. He acted like I was suggesting robbing a liquor store. My age, only child, good person. His folks had not ever allowed him fireworks. I said I could fix that problem. We bought about $40 worth (in the 70’s would fill the car trunk). And went across the highway where they had scraped a “shooting” area down to bare dirt. He went nuts, uncontrollable hysterical laughter, continuous explosions, staggering around like a drunk. People stopped their cars to watch him. Great guy, was a stockbroker in West Texas for many years, don’t know if he ever did it again.

Tell him the sparklers are for your auntie. :)

Aka – Russian anti-Nazi “celebratory” fireworks. (What they’d probably call the missiles being sent to Ukraine)

If R. Lee Ermey had gone into sales instead of the Marines.

Yikes! I hope Monty lives near Dewey (https://www.gocomics.com/next-door-neighbors/2023/06/28?ct=v&cti=76520 ) and they don’t live near ME!

Wow.The ex-Marine D.I. Guy (as I am thinking of him) is really into the “blowing stuff up and making big bang-noises”! So, I think it would be wise for you Twinkle Toes to treat what he shouts out as your orders!

bowel buster, twinkle toes. ROFLMAO

This is the funniest Monty in years. LMAO