Texts From Mittens by Angie Bailey for June 22, 2023

#longer than you’ve got.

Umm, you do have 4 paws with claws…I think you can take them in a fair fight MItty.

Stay as far away from them as possible.

The crows have stopped screeching at my female cat ever since they got to finish off her snack the other day.

She’d caught a mouse in the back yard and eaten about half of it. When I went out to clean up the remainder, there wasn’t a trace left. So I guess they’ve decided to stay on her good side in case she catches another one.

That is assuming the blue jays fight fair…lol

I don’t know anything about blue jays. Here we are overloaded with evil red-winged blackbirds, attacking anybody and anything. I saw one of them attack a huge trumpeter swan the other day. The swan was just sitting by the pond where it lives, minding its own business. The blackbird is about the size of the swan’s beak.

None of them have gotten me this year so far. I was sitting on a bench and one came and started screeching at me to go away, and I didn’t feel like moving just yet. So I bribed it with a pumpkin seed, and it decided I could stay.

One season an overly-aggressive bluejay harassed my cat Johnny Depp unmercifully, even though his nest was not in danger. Eventually, Johnny Depp had enough of it. The other jays held a loud, screaming funeral.

#JohnnyDepp1Jays0

Eighteen death blades plus fangs—Mitty, you are far better armed. They don’t even have talons.

Cats have enough armament, I would think!

Seriously: blue jays are vicious.

Cats endanger so many bird populations. The Mittens has nothing to worry about.

“How long does it take to grow a beak?” Eons, Mitty, eons.