#1(One of my sons is divorced, another one married. Whilst shopping, I run into a neighbour. After some small talk, I get this gem:)
Elderly Neighbour: “I’m so sorry that [Married Son] got divorced, too.”
Me: “Excuse me? I saw both [Married Son] and [Daughter-In-Law] yesterday and they are still happily married, devoted to their daughter.”
Elderly Neighbour: “But, but he is seen with this blonde woman all over the neighbourhood.”
(It was then that I realized that my daughter-in-law had recently lost a lot of weight — as my son put it: she’s only half the woman he married — and had her hairstyle changed — badly, I might add — and had changed from dark to blonde. We had a good laugh about it when I told my son he should me tell me when something important happens in his life.)
#2(My partner and I are both working night shifts as we are younger with no kids and night shifts are well-paid. As a result of a good income, we are able to move to a nicer house in a neighbourhood populated mainly by families with 9-to-5 working husbands and “soccer moms.” The nice elderly couple next door tells us those moms do nothing else but gossip and that they have already started to spread rumors about us. One day, we hear a group of those women talking about us in the adjacent garden. It is clear that they haven’t noticed us sitting in our garden.)
Neighbour: “They moved here two months ago and I’ve never seen them awake before one pm! Never seen them going to work! And they own two cars and a motorbike! How can they afford it?”
Me: loud enough for all to hear “THAT’S BECAUSE WE BOTH WORK AS SUPERVISORS AT A NIGHT SECURITY FIRM! IT’S A HARD JOB, BUT IT PAYS WAY BETTER THAN DRIVING UP AND DOWN THE NEIGHBORHOOD WITH A MINIVAN FULL OF KIDS OR DRINKING WINE WHILE GOSSIPING!”
(Silence. The elderly couple later told us nobody dares to speak a single word about us anymore.)
oldpine52 10 months ago
She never repeats gossip, so listen close when she speaks.
Yakety Sax 10 months ago
#1(One of my sons is divorced, another one married. Whilst shopping, I run into a neighbour. After some small talk, I get this gem:)
Elderly Neighbour: “I’m so sorry that [Married Son] got divorced, too.”
Me: “Excuse me? I saw both [Married Son] and [Daughter-In-Law] yesterday and they are still happily married, devoted to their daughter.”
Elderly Neighbour: “But, but he is seen with this blonde woman all over the neighbourhood.”
(It was then that I realized that my daughter-in-law had recently lost a lot of weight — as my son put it: she’s only half the woman he married — and had her hairstyle changed — badly, I might add — and had changed from dark to blonde. We had a good laugh about it when I told my son he should me tell me when something important happens in his life.)
#2(My partner and I are both working night shifts as we are younger with no kids and night shifts are well-paid. As a result of a good income, we are able to move to a nicer house in a neighbourhood populated mainly by families with 9-to-5 working husbands and “soccer moms.” The nice elderly couple next door tells us those moms do nothing else but gossip and that they have already started to spread rumors about us. One day, we hear a group of those women talking about us in the adjacent garden. It is clear that they haven’t noticed us sitting in our garden.)
Neighbour: “They moved here two months ago and I’ve never seen them awake before one pm! Never seen them going to work! And they own two cars and a motorbike! How can they afford it?”
Me: loud enough for all to hear “THAT’S BECAUSE WE BOTH WORK AS SUPERVISORS AT A NIGHT SECURITY FIRM! IT’S A HARD JOB, BUT IT PAYS WAY BETTER THAN DRIVING UP AND DOWN THE NEIGHBORHOOD WITH A MINIVAN FULL OF KIDS OR DRINKING WINE WHILE GOSSIPING!”
(Silence. The elderly couple later told us nobody dares to speak a single word about us anymore.)
sergioandrade Premium Member 10 months ago
Broom-Hilda only talks about someone if it’s good. Everytime you can hear her say “This is good.”
jagedlo 10 months ago
Broomie=the 21st-century version of Rona Barrett, Hedda Hopper, etc…
Steverino Premium Member 10 months ago
I always thought that an innuendo was an Italian enema.
karmakat01 10 months ago
great…she is turning into my mother now…
LaurelAnnHardy 10 months ago
Dogs make friends more easily than do human. That’s because they wag their tails, not their tongues.
cuzinron47 10 months ago
Nothing but the juicy stuff. Of course it may not be true, but it’s juicy.
Sisyphos 10 months ago
Gaylord, you naughty enabler!
Broomie is just being Broomie, as we expect….
WentHulk 10 months ago
lol