Wrong Hands by John Atkinson for September 15, 2023

I’m going to eat this onion like and apple. Do you understand?

Breakthrough! (Went to the bar at the bullfight.)

Take the Heming Way. Do not pass Go.

A graphic version of today’s Wrong Hands belongs on the English Department’s bulletin board at all universities.

May I suggest Randy Feltface’s “The life and times of Ernest Miller Hemingway in 3 and a half minutes”? Solid gold. >

Aimless drunken ramblings becomes a best-selling prizewinner that is forced on innocents in their English curriculum by instructors who never expanded their life past drinking beer in the dorm. Royalties allow you to pretentiously wallow in your current drunken morass without regret or repentance.

Excellent.

You left out the untreated mental illness and the 7 toed cats.

earth moves. stumble forward two spaces…

Oh, this is brilliantly funny!

Quick game-design nag: the board shouldn’t consist of special spaces only. There need to be buffer spaces between them, at least two or three on average. For comic purposes, these spaces have been deleted, but if anyone wants to play this in real life, the buffers are vital. Otherwise, beating up the less-manly guy gains a space but loses a turn, and the boring fishing trip costs two spaces and a turn. It is perhaps intentional that a female character’s getting a word in leads directly to the final space.

I knew there was a reason I never re-read a Hemingway book.