Betty by Gary Delainey and Gerry Rasmussen for September 12, 2023

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    Yakety Sax  about 1 year ago

    From Not Always Right: Seven years of Bad Shopping Luck

    (My mom and teenage sister are shopping at the mall. On the way out of a high-end store, the security alarm goes off and a loss prevention officer stops them. He makes them both walk through, one at a time, and my sister sets the alarm off.)

    Mom: looking at my sister with disappointment “[Sister], you didn’t!”

    Sister: “I didn’t take anything; I swear!”

    (The officer makes her empty all of her pockets, which are, of course, empty, because she really didn’t take anything. He then has a sudden hunch, asks her to take her coat off, and then throws the coat through the sensors. The alarm goes off.)

    Officer: “The good news is that I believe you. The bad news is that whoever sold you this coat is an idiot, because they never turned off the anti-theft device.”

    (He was right. Apparently, they never turned off the device, and it took seven years of wearing that coat before anyone even noticed. Fortunately, the store was able to deactivate it for her so it didn’t happen again.)

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    Ubintold  about 1 year ago

    What about the lottery?

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    montymiff  about 1 year ago

    Today I saw a tv ad for a psychic service that was “one hundred per cent more accurate than all the others!” I wondered how the math was determined.

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    Liverlips McCracken Premium Member about 1 year ago

    Good answer!

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    HappyDog/ᵀʳʸ ᴮᵒᶻᵒ ⁴ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘⁿ ᵒᶠ ᶦᵗ Premium Member about 1 year ago

    My question for a psychic is, can you guess how much money you won’t get from me?

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    MIHorn Premium Member about 1 year ago

    Does the psychic already know that I think it’s all hooey?

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    Skeptical Meg  about 1 year ago

    Call on behalf of Wallace the Brave.

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