Shoe by Gary Brookins and Susie MacNelly for October 11, 2023

Well, that leaves me out…..

If you find him, can I borrow him?

Then they can become the new ‘odd couple’.

I am a semi-retired housewife and I have pretty much stopped cleaning. Yes, my house is a mess, but if husband doesn’t like it, he can turn off the TV and turn on the vacuum.

I’m going out with a group of friends from OCD anonymous tonight.

Things aren’t gonna get messy.

My OCD stricken friend blows off stress by repeatedly hitting F5.

He says he finds it refreshing.

I told him he needs help, now he keeps hitting F1.

Where do you bury someone with OCD?

In a symmetry.

My wife said, “You think I have OCD when it comes to tidiness, but you are wrong..”

“I just wanted to clear that up.”

Roz could use one of those too.

And I want to win the lottery.

I have a neighbor who retired but has no discernible hobby other than meticulously cleaning his house all day long. Sad.

Sorry to tell you, guys like that generally leave the seat up.

So she wants a man who will be her wife (just kidding – really just kidding) … Does she just want a man who will be her servant?

Every womens dream

That didn’t work out for Felix Unger’s ex-wife.

Watch a few “The Odd Couple” and you’ll change your tune.

And what would you offer, Jenna? Great cooking? Hugs and kisses? Revealing negligee, perhaps?

When I was young we had a next door neighbor who used to wipe off the leaves of her house plants after she watered them, so their wouldn’t be water spots on the leaves.

She’s going to be looking for a long time ! ! !

I could go for one of those.

Be careful, for what you wish for…..

I’ve heard that a woman’s fantasy is to have two men.

One to cook, and one to clean up.

And THIS is why I have a cleaning lady that comes in once a week.

On the occasion that I might pick up a dust cloth and clean off a few shelves, my wife says, “There’s nothing sexier than a man doing housework.”

And you offer what in return my dear?…….

You don’t want a man, you want a roomba who can dance…

And in return, what exactly do you have to offer besides you sloven behavior.

She really doesn’t imagine what that would actually be like. Believe me.

But doesn’t that mean he probably doesn’t work outside the home making money?

And I need a gal that will do that. We’d be perfect for each other. Compatible slobs. With the money we save on cleaning stuff, we can burn down the house and rebuild it every few years to start over.

Yup, me too!

I was cleaning the floor in my basement when I realized, "why am I putting so much effort in this, no one’s going to see it’.

I’m looking for a nice girl who likes fat old men.

It’s been so long since I had a nice girl over for dinner, I’ve almost forgotten what they taste like.