Savage Chickens by Doug Savage for December 15, 2023

Sigh. That really would be a Christmas miracle!

Aw come on yourself Santa. You know I’m just trying to make myself look good.

Whirled peas.

Mrs. Claus!

“No … and don’t say, ‘Two Front Teeth’!”

‘I wanta narmy. Anna big castle wif pointy bits,’ said the child. ‘Anna swored.’

The Hogfather reached into his sack and produced – a sword. It was four feet long and glinted along the blade. The mother took a deep breath. ‘You can’t give her that!’ she screamed. ‘Its not safe.’ IT’S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY’RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE. ‘She’s a child!’ shouted Crumley. IT’S EDUCATIONAL. ‘What is she cuts herself?’ THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.

Really?

When I’m on the phone with Customer Service or Tech Support, at the end of the call they usually ask, “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

And I say, “World peace?”

I get some interesting responses.

Right on! But there’s always HOPE!

Mmmm…peace of chicken.

I want what the kid’s been smoking. :)

Altruistic chicken is delicious.

Neighborhood peace?

How about world pizza?

I want anything except socks.