Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for March 25, 2024

Only the good die young.

I’m not that good, and I won’t make it past 65.

From a t-shirt:

1st checkbox:[ ] single

2nd checkbox:[ ] taken

3rd checkbox: [x] will die alone with 12 cats

Grandfather: "Once… begins to tell a story I know by heart

Me: sitting and listening to it with a smile until the very end

Grandfather*leaves*

Grandma: He’s already told that 200 times.

Me: I’m so glad to see how much he enjoys telling it.

While I was at a meeting my grandmother called me but I dropped the call and started to worry something bad might have happened.

Once I was free, I immediately called her right back. It turned out that my grandmother wanted to tell me her peonies had started to bloom.

My transformation into a teenager has about started.

I’ll be 70 in 5 weeks, does that mean I’ll be officially an old coot.

Only almost? I passed that point a long time ago!

Hah! At first I misread it to say “better.”

Aunty probably never had the best taste.

This is sad! Don’t have to be bitter when you get old.

Living with a husband who has dementia has turned me into a bitter old woman. Before that I was just a b**ch. Wait, I forgot; miserable, ungrateful b**ch.

Almost??

Me: Bitter? No! Cantankerous? Most definitely!

How many gears you got in that transmission……..automatic or straight drive?

I’m not bitter, just cranky.

Aunty, you were born a bitter old woman, you just filled out.

I will never be a bitter old woman. However, grumpy old man might be just around the corner.

Don’t flatter yourself Auntie, you passed that point long ago.

You sound like my mother and now my son… Peter Pan for every,,,,

No need to tell us, Aunty. We see the transformation happening little by little, bit by bit, every day.

Congratulations on Achieving that wonderful Milestone, Aunty.