From Not Always Right : Stupid Questions Can Come Twenty-Four Hours A Day
I am working a night shift at a twenty-four-hour grocery store. At this time of night, I am not known for my patience with stupid questions.
Customer: “Why are they making you work at 3:00 am?”
Me: “Why are you shopping at 3:00 am?”
Second story: A Hearty Dose Of Stupid Questions
I’m a nurse at a busy hospital. We often get calls about anomalous readings regarding the heart monitors from the techs who monitor them remotely. Usually, it’s an easy fix like changing out the batteries of the monitor, making sure the connection is secure, or reattaching leads — those sticky things they stick all over your chest and belly at the hospital.
One afternoon, I get this call.
Heart Monitor Tech: “Are you the nurse for room [number]? Oh, my God, your patient is in asystole!” Meaning they’re flat-lining “You need to check on them right away.”
Me: “Hmm, I assure you she is not. I’m standing in front of her and she is breathing and talking to me right now.”
Heart Monitor Tech: “Are you sure?”
Me: In my head “Yes, I’m absolutely sure I’m not talking to a f****** corpse.”
Me: Out loud “I’ll be sure to check the monitor and leads, thanks.”
Patient: “So, I’m definitely not dead? Right?”
Third story: Reaching “Tea-Total” Of Stupid Questions
(I work at a very well-known tea shop in Canada. My favourite part of the job is when customers come in, take a look around at all the tea and teapots, and then:)
Customer: “Do you sell tea?”
Me: “No, we don’t. We are actually the only tea shop in the world that doesn’t sell any tea. Have a great day.”
Yakety Sax 7 months ago
From Not Always Right : Stupid Questions Can Come Twenty-Four Hours A Day
I am working a night shift at a twenty-four-hour grocery store. At this time of night, I am not known for my patience with stupid questions.
Customer: “Why are they making you work at 3:00 am?”
Me: “Why are you shopping at 3:00 am?”
Second story: A Hearty Dose Of Stupid Questions
I’m a nurse at a busy hospital. We often get calls about anomalous readings regarding the heart monitors from the techs who monitor them remotely. Usually, it’s an easy fix like changing out the batteries of the monitor, making sure the connection is secure, or reattaching leads — those sticky things they stick all over your chest and belly at the hospital.
One afternoon, I get this call.
Heart Monitor Tech: “Are you the nurse for room [number]? Oh, my God, your patient is in asystole!” Meaning they’re flat-lining “You need to check on them right away.”
Me: “Hmm, I assure you she is not. I’m standing in front of her and she is breathing and talking to me right now.”
Heart Monitor Tech: “Are you sure?”
Me: In my head “Yes, I’m absolutely sure I’m not talking to a f****** corpse.”
Me: Out loud “I’ll be sure to check the monitor and leads, thanks.”
Patient: “So, I’m definitely not dead? Right?”
Third story: Reaching “Tea-Total” Of Stupid Questions
(I work at a very well-known tea shop in Canada. My favourite part of the job is when customers come in, take a look around at all the tea and teapots, and then:)
Customer: “Do you sell tea?”
Me: “No, we don’t. We are actually the only tea shop in the world that doesn’t sell any tea. Have a great day.”
preacherman Premium Member 7 months ago
Herb: with a friend like that, who needs enemies.