La Cucaracha by Lalo Alcaraz for March 04, 2024

So, if life begins at fertilization, does that mean if the egg was fertilized in the year 2000 and implanted in 2013 then Matt Gaetz could legally date her in 2024?

Not refrigerators, freezers!!! I’ve told you seventy billion times not to exaggerate.

Brilliant. You out-did yourself with this one, M. Alcaraz ! Cheers !

I heard someone say a frozen, fertilized embryo that isn’t implanted in the uterus isn’t a child – or fetus – because it has no chance of developing into a breathing, born human being. I thought that was a better classification than the Alabama Supreme Court’s one.

That’s just the boxes the refrigerators come in.

Catholics changed theology on this (although Catholic theology teaches that Catholic theology never changes). Life did not begin at conception, called traducianism. It began at quickening – ensoulment when God put a soul in the baby in the mother’s womb. Conception became favored because Augustine championed it… He needed a way to explain why babies deserved to go to H3ll.

I feel the only time a woman should be allowed to get an abortion is when SHE WANTS ONE.

An American justice who uses the bible as the source of his ruling should be tossed out. No delay, no appeal.

Oklahoma will be the next state to do this.

In a further ruling the Alabama Supreme Court registered them as Republican voters and gave themselves the power to cast proxy ballots for them.

The Kansas state legislature once had a bill introduced that declared the value of pi would be “3”, apparently to make geometry homework easier.

Normally, however, we do not see high courts rise to the same level of wackiness.

Eventually you have to check with a lawyer to see if you can cut your fingernails without committing “cell murder”.

This decision, outrageous as it is, is no crazier than the US Supreme Court’s holding in Citizens United v. FEC that corporations are people and free spending is indistinguishable from free speech. George Orwell warned us about what can happen when authoritarians control the language:

War is peace.

Freedom is slavery.

Ignorance is strength.

   —Big Brother

Corporations are people.

Money is speech.

   —Citizens United

It’s true, tho. Last week I saw a guy sleeping in a refrigerator under a bridge in the downtown area.

At age 6, the frozen embryos must be taken to school in a cooler.

In other news the Alabama Supreme Court has frozen embryos for brains

It’s only logical.

I don’t want to know what they think microwave ovens are.

If a fertilized egg is a person, anything done to it afterwards does not change that status so if frozen it’s still a person and the penalties for homicide apply if handled without respect for that life. That is discarding any embryo is some level of murder.

If you start from an absurd premise, then you are quite likely come up with an absurd result with the most impeccable reasoning.