Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for June 19, 2024

Once again, Mitch’s stream of conscious thought leads him into a river of irreverent progression.

Time to get serious? Try new Humorrhoid Scream Snuff™… by Mennen!

Hmmmmandroids …!

( prep ayyycha )

" ♪ And if you go chasing rabbits …♪ "

I’m reminded of one of my favorite phrases: “What do you suppose happened to the poor folks who product-tested Preparations A through G?”

Today’s [ yawn ] Senryū du Jour:

Horny to see me —

Or is that a jackalope

up there on your head?

— folksy sign on the wall of Doug Herrick’s Hare of the Pronghorn Taxidermy Store and Recycled Longjohns Consignment Village

Spiderman senses thee multiple times ahead and shoulders.

Flakes in the hairdeedo daaà daay

“Hmmm… since I can’t keep these from getting all mixed up, I wonder if I could at least find some peppermint-flavored ’roid cream?”

Sense Rhoids chewing gum between the cheek and gums.

Oddly enough, people reeled away in horror when told the decorative head warmer was, in fact, not a rabbit, but a mutant banana slug.

Some days it is more difficult to pull a rabbit from one’s hat, especially if it is forced to double as a toupee.

— free limited-time-offer trial adage from Wisdom Morsels Definitely NOT of the Dalai Lama, by Luke Warm and Ben Teppid, © 2024 Pheebull & Phlimzee House Public Disservice Massagers, a division of Wambly Dais-Podia LLC

“Remove wrapping and place on head until flexible. Cook as normal or enjoy straight from package.”

— suspicious preparation tips from Br’er Rabbit Fresh-Flash-Frozen Lepus Parts™

Where’s the hat?

That’s the cure for when it goes straight to your thighs.

Yeah, now everybody tighten it up now

Now look here, we gonna make it mellow for you now

We gonna make it mellow now

Archie Bog and the Frogs: Tighten Up

there’s a topic for that syntax on “wheel of fortune”

“Unexpected Hors d’oeuvres” for five hundred, please.

The bunny mind meld is a dangerous thing to the unwary. It can take you down dark alley ways one is unaccustomed to.

So, would that be a cream puff filled with hemorrhoid cream, or a hemorrhoid looking disarmingly like a cream puff, or a cream puff with a disarmingly hemorrhoidal creamy filling?

Why not just get yourself a donut and move on…

The man’s external brain looks interesting. Is it an add on or OEM?

Soothing AND delicious!

…hemorrhoid cream is just one of the over the counter treatments for your roids…

…besides the outliners of wipes and suppositories…

…not only is there cream…

…but also jell..

…and my favorite…

ointment…

…maybe …

…if you rub one of those on the hare on his head…

…it would go away…

Still trying to figure out the process for puffing that cream. (Wow, I’m sure I’m skirting some GC Overlords’ red zone here. Not that it’s the first time.)

Blog: My mill grinds.

Web search: Food Defect Levels Handbook

With one unlikely, truly astonishing victory, life at Caerbannog begins to return to its quiet roots…

Gets me every time.

HARE …!

( what we have hair is a failyer ta camoonicate! )

Is there a vet in the house? That poor rabbit has a human-shaped tumor on its stomach!

Today’s [ backup ] Senryū du Jour:

German: Kummerspeck

is grief bacon — weight gain from

emotional-eats.

— Milton Teagle (aka Richard) Simmons, in his exercise videos, Sweatin’ for the Kaiser, reminding followers of the link between comfort food and sponsor Discomfort Inn ‘n’ Out Eatin’ Suites

That rabbit’s ears make great antennae!!

Elmer, while disliking the laughter behind his back even as he racked up millions, thought, “Sure, this may be an inexact science, but putting on his thinking bunny only seemed to solidify his winning streaks on stock picks and horse races…”

New! Hemorrhoid Cream Puffs!

From the same fine makers of Colon Volcano Cereal™ … Le Petit Chef Crotch-Cleanser Chips™… and Ferg’s All-Natural, Low-Gloss Combo Sanitary Sticks, Bag Balm, and Lip Embalmer™…

Only from Heckler Pharmaceuticals!

What, You Gonna Try to Sue Us Again?™

Human Thought Injection Trials:

The lepus population discovers a handy way to get back at humanity for all those dangnabbit rabbit tests.

Once the cute little bunnies saw the Alien “face-hugger” method, “scalp-hugging” exploded.

Biodegradable vehicles of the Rabbit Gods.

FLASHBACK THEATER PRESENTS:

You know what they say, “Your chances of being killed by a bunny are low, but they’re never zero.”

Scene from a strange late-late night horror-comedy movie:

“Tor lucky to be so tall — me take a bunny ear very gently in each hand and make vroom-vroom motorcycle noises to steer little man around and around to do funny doctor’s bidding!”

[ abrupt cut to commercial; remote control drops from viewer’s hand to floor in new “living room” set; music sting; full reverse traverse to max set shrink; fade to black and roll credits ]

…you never hear of Squire Boone…

…though he participated in most of his brother’s exploits…

…probably because of the fact …

…while Daniel wore a coon-skin cap…

…Squire wore a harepiece…

…Simon Kenton was every bit the frontiersman as either…

…but got none of the glory…

…ie…

…while protecting Boonesboro from the injuns…

…Dan got shot in the leg …

…Sam was carrying him…

…trying to get back into the fort…

…but between the gate & them were two warriors with tomahawks…

… unperturbed, Samuel ran with Daniel in his arms towards them…

…lift him up and threw him at the two startled opponents…

…knocking them both down…

…Samuel grabbed one of the tomahawks…

…dispatched of both of his enemies…

…and drug/dragged Daniel Boone inside the fort…

…where Squire closed and secured the doors…

…"We never would had made it without ya…

…exclaimed Samuel Kenton…

…Thank ya, Squire…

…in the shapes of bunny tails, right?!