Their Math Makes About As Much Sense As Their Handwriting
Me: “Your total is $16, sir.”
Customer: “You forgot the membership discount.”
Me: “Do you have your membership card on you?”
Customer: “No.”
Me: “I would need to swipe the card to activate the discount.”
Customer: “Just give me the discount! I’ll bring the card next time! What would my discount be if I had the store card?”
Me: “$1.60.”
Customer: “See! That’s like almost a hundred dollars! You’re robbing me!”
Me: “Your total is just $16, sir.”
Customer: “See! So you’d owe me like $80!”
Next Customer: “Is your math from another planet or are you really that stupid!?”
Customer: “Shut up! I went to medical school!”
Next Customer: “As what? A test subject for the actual students?”
The customer screamed at the next customer but did (thankfully) storm off. The next customer approaches the checkout, and I mouth a “thank you” to her.
Next Customer: “Oh, that’s nothing. I’m just sad we didn’t get his name so I can look him up and make sure I am never admitted to a hospital where he works!”
You Picked A Top That Would Take You To Rock Bottom
Customer: “I want to return this top. The fit is terrible!”
Me: “No.”
Customer: “Excuse me?!”
Me: “No, we will not be accepting a return on this top.”
Customer: “You have to!”
Me: “You don’t have a receipt so no, we won’t. You actually can’t have a receipt.”
Customer: “What are you talking about?!”
Me: “I mean, you have good taste. This is a very expensive top… that just came in this morning, that I stocked it personally, and our store has strict rules about when the high-end lines can be “released”… and we’ve only been open ten minutes.”
Customer: “…”
Me: “So you’ll be leaving the dress and f***ing off, yes?”
Yakety Sax about 1 month ago
Pot Calling The Birthday Card Black
Customer: “I want to get a birthday card for my friend, but I don’t really want to think about it too much.”
Me: “Okay, what can you tell me about them?”
Customer: “They’re just my friend, and it’s their birthday.”
Me: “Okay… anything else you can tell me about them? Gender, age, what they’re into, what are they like?”
Customer: “They’re kinda vague…”
Yakety Sax about 1 month ago
Their Math Makes About As Much Sense As Their Handwriting
Me: “Your total is $16, sir.”
Customer: “You forgot the membership discount.”
Me: “Do you have your membership card on you?”
Customer: “No.”
Me: “I would need to swipe the card to activate the discount.”
Customer: “Just give me the discount! I’ll bring the card next time! What would my discount be if I had the store card?”
Me: “$1.60.”
Customer: “See! That’s like almost a hundred dollars! You’re robbing me!”
Me: “Your total is just $16, sir.”
Customer: “See! So you’d owe me like $80!”
Next Customer: “Is your math from another planet or are you really that stupid!?”
Customer: “Shut up! I went to medical school!”
Next Customer: “As what? A test subject for the actual students?”
The customer screamed at the next customer but did (thankfully) storm off. The next customer approaches the checkout, and I mouth a “thank you” to her.
Next Customer: “Oh, that’s nothing. I’m just sad we didn’t get his name so I can look him up and make sure I am never admitted to a hospital where he works!”
Yakety Sax about 1 month ago
Do You Know What “Hypothetical” Means?
My director wants us to improve our technology when dealing with communication to our offices in Europe, especially trading and finance data.
Director: “This is taking way too long to get sent there and back! You need to make it go faster!”
Me: “We can’t reduce latency to Europe any more than we have. It’s a speed of light thing at this point.”
Director: “Is there anything we can do to increase the speed of light?”
Me: Jokingly “Use tachyons?”
Director: “Where do we get those?”
I learned not to joke with management after that.
Yakety Sax about 1 month ago
Working Retail Got Me Feeling Blue
Customer: “I’m looking for a book. It’s blue.”
Me: “…”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “Sorry. Just… seriously?”
Customer: “Yes! It’s called ‘Blue‘! It’s a memoir about a policeman!”
Me: “Oh! Sorry, yes, I can show you where that is.”
Customer: “Why did you react like that?”
Me: “Sorry… inside joke.”
Yakety Sax about 1 month ago
You Picked A Top That Would Take You To Rock Bottom
Customer: “I want to return this top. The fit is terrible!”
Me: “No.”
Customer: “Excuse me?!”
Me: “No, we will not be accepting a return on this top.”
Customer: “You have to!”
Me: “You don’t have a receipt so no, we won’t. You actually can’t have a receipt.”
Customer: “What are you talking about?!”
Me: “I mean, you have good taste. This is a very expensive top… that just came in this morning, that I stocked it personally, and our store has strict rules about when the high-end lines can be “released”… and we’ve only been open ten minutes.”
Customer: “…”
Me: “So you’ll be leaving the dress and f***ing off, yes?”
Customer: “…”
Me: “Byeeeee!”
FreyjaRN Premium Member about 1 month ago
Tell me about it.
kaycstamper about 1 month ago
Wait until you hit 70!
Calvinist1966 about 1 month ago
Today’s Ginger Meggs strip has a similar comment about life beginning at 40 and beginning to show.
dflak about 1 month ago
I do not consider myself to be old. I’ve just outlived my warranty.
rockyridge1977 about 1 month ago
The trifecta…..I’ll take "fall out " for 100!!!!
ladykat about 1 month ago
I will be 70 this November, I started falling apart years ago.
Daltongang Premium Member about 1 month ago
That’s what happens with alcohol fueled engines.
cuzinron47 about 1 month ago
If you’re falling apart at 50, it ain’t gonna get any better.
CorkLock about 1 month ago
If you’re carrying around extra weight, I can recommend a fine Amputee weight loss Clinic. Mike’s Butchers. He can lop off unwanted parts. Un Huh.
metagalaxy1970 about 1 month ago
That’s for sure! (I’m in the 50’s range, not telling! :-P )