Some People Just Can’t Handle Emergency Situations
My store has a machine that allows us to wrap our merchandise in plastic wrap. One day while I’m conversing with my manager, we hear a pop/crackle, look over at our machine, and see a small fire along with sparks raining down from the outlet it’s plugged into.
Me: “I’ll grab the fire extinguisher to put that out. Call the fire department and have them send someone out to make sure there isn’t more fire inside the wall we can’t see.”
After a couple of quick blasts from the extinguisher, the outlet fire is out, and I turn off the machine. I turn around to find my manager scrolling through his phone.
Me: “What are you doing? Call the fire department!”
Manager: “I was looking for the phone number.”
Me: “It’s 911! What do you mean, you were looking for it?”
He proceeds to call the fire department, and they send a team out. They use their thermal imagers and determine that there’s no more fire inside the wall and we’re safe to continue operations. On his way out, the fireman points to the now charred and melted outlet hanging out of the hole in the wall.
Fireman: “Don’t use that outlet anymore. You’ll need to replace it.”
It’s my first week working at the bar. It’s been fun so far, but then a couple of troublemakers (they look the sort) come in and give me an outlandish drink request.
Me: “Sure thing. Can I see some ID?”
Customer: “Are you for real?”
Me: “Everyone gets their ID checked. No exceptions.”
It looks like it’s about to be a stare-down when my manager walks over.
Manager: “Everything okay over here?”
Me: “Yup! Amazing!”
The couple hand me their IDs.
Me: “Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Dad!”
My manager looks back at all three of us in shock. We’re all smiling.
Manager: “D***! That’s a new spin on the “I’m old enough to be your father!” line!”
I made the drinks for the “troublemakers” and told them I’d be home by midnight.
Tell Me You’ve Worked In Retail Without Saying You’ve Worked In Retail, Part 3
Working at a checkout you overhear some interesting things. Two friends are chatting as they buy their lunch.
Customer #1: “You know, maybe I should run for office.”
Customer #2: “Babe, you won’t even run for the bus.”
Customer #1: “Yeah, it does seem like a lot of work.”
[Customer #1] then turns to me.
Customer #1: “Would you vote for me?”
Me: “For like, president?”
Customer #1: “Yeah!”
Me: “What can you offer me?”
Customer #1: “All retail workers get to tell customers what they really think about them.”
Me: “You can have my vote, my soul, my firstborn… anything.”
Turns out [Customer #1] did “three years in the trenches” at Walmart so they “get it”. If I ever see them make a run for the White House, they get my vote!
Nighttime 1970. 45,000 feet above the Okefenokee swamp above most of the atmosphere. Black velvet beneath me. Black velvet above me. Stings of diamonds stretching out in tendrils connecting small clusters of lights: roads connecting the small towns below.
In the distance, from beneath the horizon peeked up the auroras of Atlanta and Jacksonville.
The hum of the engines in my ears. Silence and solitude otherwise.
On my canopy were painted stars, clearer and more brilliant than earthbound people ever see. All I had to do was open it, reach out my arm and scoop up a handful of them.
I love this! Too often we let criticism of others hold us back. Have more faith in yourself. You WILL make mistakes. You WILL recover to try another day.
Yakety Sax 14 days ago
Some People Just Can’t Handle Emergency Situations
My store has a machine that allows us to wrap our merchandise in plastic wrap. One day while I’m conversing with my manager, we hear a pop/crackle, look over at our machine, and see a small fire along with sparks raining down from the outlet it’s plugged into.
Me: “I’ll grab the fire extinguisher to put that out. Call the fire department and have them send someone out to make sure there isn’t more fire inside the wall we can’t see.”
After a couple of quick blasts from the extinguisher, the outlet fire is out, and I turn off the machine. I turn around to find my manager scrolling through his phone.
Me: “What are you doing? Call the fire department!”
Manager: “I was looking for the phone number.”
Me: “It’s 911! What do you mean, you were looking for it?”
He proceeds to call the fire department, and they send a team out. They use their thermal imagers and determine that there’s no more fire inside the wall and we’re safe to continue operations. On his way out, the fireman points to the now charred and melted outlet hanging out of the hole in the wall.
Fireman: “Don’t use that outlet anymore. You’ll need to replace it.”
Yakety Sax 14 days ago
I Was Raised To Follow The Rules
It’s my first week working at the bar. It’s been fun so far, but then a couple of troublemakers (they look the sort) come in and give me an outlandish drink request.
Me: “Sure thing. Can I see some ID?”
Customer: “Are you for real?”
Me: “Everyone gets their ID checked. No exceptions.”
It looks like it’s about to be a stare-down when my manager walks over.
Manager: “Everything okay over here?”
Me: “Yup! Amazing!”
The couple hand me their IDs.
Me: “Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Dad!”
My manager looks back at all three of us in shock. We’re all smiling.
Manager: “D***! That’s a new spin on the “I’m old enough to be your father!” line!”
I made the drinks for the “troublemakers” and told them I’d be home by midnight.
Yakety Sax 14 days ago
Tell Me You’ve Worked In Retail Without Saying You’ve Worked In Retail, Part 3
Working at a checkout you overhear some interesting things. Two friends are chatting as they buy their lunch.
Customer #1: “You know, maybe I should run for office.”
Customer #2: “Babe, you won’t even run for the bus.”
Customer #1: “Yeah, it does seem like a lot of work.”
[Customer #1] then turns to me.
Customer #1: “Would you vote for me?”
Me: “For like, president?”
Customer #1: “Yeah!”
Me: “What can you offer me?”
Customer #1: “All retail workers get to tell customers what they really think about them.”
Me: “You can have my vote, my soul, my firstborn… anything.”
Turns out [Customer #1] did “three years in the trenches” at Walmart so they “get it”. If I ever see them make a run for the White House, they get my vote!
nosirrom 14 days ago
Well Mickey Rooney did.
dbrucepm 13 days ago
especially if you are a fiery hot ball of gas
dflak 13 days ago
Nighttime 1970. 45,000 feet above the Okefenokee swamp above most of the atmosphere. Black velvet beneath me. Black velvet above me. Stings of diamonds stretching out in tendrils connecting small clusters of lights: roads connecting the small towns below.
In the distance, from beneath the horizon peeked up the auroras of Atlanta and Jacksonville.
The hum of the engines in my ears. Silence and solitude otherwise.
On my canopy were painted stars, clearer and more brilliant than earthbound people ever see. All I had to do was open it, reach out my arm and scoop up a handful of them.
Alone and yet one with the universe.
old_geek 13 days ago
Especially after a number of CT scans…
rockyridge1977 13 days ago
Too much light pollution!!!
Daltongang Premium Member 13 days ago
Aunty, the only thing that shines for you in the darkness are the flaming drinks, so you can see them to gulp them down.
cuzinron47 13 days ago
Thanks for the pep talk, but I take dim view of shining at night.
stepzla 13 days ago
I love this! Too often we let criticism of others hold us back. Have more faith in yourself. You WILL make mistakes. You WILL recover to try another day.
andersjg Premium Member 13 days ago
Aunty, are you out mooning people again?
CorkLock 13 days ago
You know that it would be untrue, You know that I would be a liar, If I was to say to you, Girl, we couldn’t get much higher,
[Chorus]Come on baby, light my fire, Come on baby, light my fire, Try to set the night on fire, The Doors