UFO by Graham Harrop for July 25, 2024

Heaven and UFO are two very different places.

This is horrible. That boulder will be an ‘invasive species,’ contaminating the pristine environment of our beloved Planet UFO.

Nobody will believe you saw that big rock sailing upward with a squawking chicken on it. So shhhh your little secret.

So ‘Haystack Rock Farm’ is now going to have to be renamed ‘Haystack Farm’!

So much for that method. No one is safe from UFO.

It will add fiber.

UFO is now Rocking

Yes, there was.

And she was lifted to the heavens anyway! LOL!!!!!

Call me an optimist, but being glued to a rock will make it easier for the carnivorous denizens of UFO.

He lost the fight.

Editorial nitpick: “Didn’t there use to be…?” We’re so used to “used to” that we use it even when it’s incorrect, as here. (“Didn’t” already marks the past tense, so it should be plain “use.”)