Drowning In Unwanted CommentaryCONTENT WARNING: Dark Humor
During lock-downs, when our supermarket was deemed “essential” and remained open, management added little incentives to help “humanize” the whole experience. Part of this included being allowed small personal items in our checkout sections. Mine is a photo of my husband and our kids that I like to look at and be reminded why I am working so hard for our rent.
Customer: “Are those yours?”
Me: “You mean the children? Yes.”
Customer: “All four of them?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “You have too many children!”
Me: “Which one of them should I drown?”
Customer: Gasps. “That’s rude!”
Me: “So is telling me I need to lose a child, so how about we both shut up and both of our days can improve?”
The customer complained but during those times management did not give a flying f***, so yay.
Someone’s Numbers Are About To Be REALLY Close To The Toilet
I am a thirty-five-year-old woman working the front desk for a large office. I was off on maternity leave, and while I was away, some new young guy was hired straight out of college. He thinks he’s hot s*** and acts like it.
He is walking a potential new client around the office and introducing her to people he thinks are important. This client seems like an awesome person, because she then turns to me and says to my coworker:
Client: “You missed this lovely lady when making introductions.”
I smile and am about to introduce myself when:
Coworker: “Oh, that’s just [My Name]. She’s just the girl that sits at the front desk.”
My smile remains, but I bet it looks a bit pained at this point. The client smiles back and then turns to my coworker.
Client: “You introduced me to your boss, the VP, a few minutes ago?”
Coworker: “Yes! He will be very happy to know that you’re considering—”
Client: “I’d like to talk to him. I would be more comfortable with him handling my account, or handing it to someone with more experience. No offense, but I don’t want my assets being handled by the boy that sits at the desk closest to the toilets.”
My coworker, red-faced, takes the client back to the VP’s office.
An hour or so later as this client is leaving, she smiles at me again.
Client: “The secretaries and receptionists practically run my office, and I am sure it’s the same here. Keep doing amazing work!”
I was smiling for the rest of the week. My coworker was not.
A newbie joins us around early October. He’s learning how different departments work and is being handed over from one trainer to another. As this is happening, “All I Want For Christmas” by Mariah Carey comes on the store radio.
New Starter: “Huh, that’s strange.”
Trainer #1: “What is?”
New Starter: “Playing a Christmas song in October.”
[Trainer #1] and [Trainer #2] share a knowing look but proceed with the training. Mariah Carey’s song is followed by another Christmas crooner.
New Starter: “I think someone has put on the Christmas playlist by mistake.”
Trainer #2: “No, that’s intentional. It’s October, so corporate has changed the playlist.”
New Starter: “But… it’s October. It’s early October. I mean, we have Halloween decorations out.”
Trainer #2: “This is your first retail job, isn’t it?”
New Starter: “Yes.”
Trainer #2: “Yeah… I don’t know what to tell you.”
New Starter: “You mean we have to listen to Christmas music every day between now and Christmas?”
Trainer #2: “Actually, until two weeks after Christmas — to encourage customers to buy all those post-holiday sale items. Also, it’s just the same twelve songs over and over since they’re the only ones corporate could license and they don’t like spending money.”
[New Starter]’s face goes a horrific shade of white.
seanfear about 1 month ago
well … you got days there, each one of them can have a day. Problem solved. Thank me later.
FreyjaRN Premium Member about 1 month ago
I didn’t know she was a cat.
Freebyrd1 about 1 month ago
I’d go with the weather
blunebottle about 1 month ago
I’m staying in. Not by choice. No invites.
:o(
Yakety Sax about 1 month ago
Drowning In Unwanted Commentary CONTENT WARNING: Dark Humor
During lock-downs, when our supermarket was deemed “essential” and remained open, management added little incentives to help “humanize” the whole experience. Part of this included being allowed small personal items in our checkout sections. Mine is a photo of my husband and our kids that I like to look at and be reminded why I am working so hard for our rent.
Customer: “Are those yours?”
Me: “You mean the children? Yes.”
Customer: “All four of them?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “You have too many children!”
Me: “Which one of them should I drown?”
Customer: Gasps. “That’s rude!”
Me: “So is telling me I need to lose a child, so how about we both shut up and both of our days can improve?”
The customer complained but during those times management did not give a flying f***, so yay.
Yakety Sax about 1 month ago
Someone’s Numbers Are About To Be REALLY Close To The Toilet
I am a thirty-five-year-old woman working the front desk for a large office. I was off on maternity leave, and while I was away, some new young guy was hired straight out of college. He thinks he’s hot s*** and acts like it.
He is walking a potential new client around the office and introducing her to people he thinks are important. This client seems like an awesome person, because she then turns to me and says to my coworker:
Client: “You missed this lovely lady when making introductions.”
I smile and am about to introduce myself when:
Coworker: “Oh, that’s just [My Name]. She’s just the girl that sits at the front desk.”
My smile remains, but I bet it looks a bit pained at this point. The client smiles back and then turns to my coworker.
Client: “You introduced me to your boss, the VP, a few minutes ago?”
Coworker: “Yes! He will be very happy to know that you’re considering—”
Client: “I’d like to talk to him. I would be more comfortable with him handling my account, or handing it to someone with more experience. No offense, but I don’t want my assets being handled by the boy that sits at the desk closest to the toilets.”
My coworker, red-faced, takes the client back to the VP’s office.
An hour or so later as this client is leaving, she smiles at me again.
Client: “The secretaries and receptionists practically run my office, and I am sure it’s the same here. Keep doing amazing work!”
I was smiling for the rest of the week. My coworker was not.
(not my story)
kaycstamper about 1 month ago
I’ll take the stay in…
Yakety Sax about 1 month ago
All I Want For Christmas Is Less Christmas
A newbie joins us around early October. He’s learning how different departments work and is being handed over from one trainer to another. As this is happening, “All I Want For Christmas” by Mariah Carey comes on the store radio.
New Starter: “Huh, that’s strange.”
Trainer #1: “What is?”
New Starter: “Playing a Christmas song in October.”
[Trainer #1] and [Trainer #2] share a knowing look but proceed with the training. Mariah Carey’s song is followed by another Christmas crooner.
New Starter: “I think someone has put on the Christmas playlist by mistake.”
Trainer #2: “No, that’s intentional. It’s October, so corporate has changed the playlist.”
New Starter: “But… it’s October. It’s early October. I mean, we have Halloween decorations out.”
Trainer #2: “This is your first retail job, isn’t it?”
New Starter: “Yes.”
Trainer #2: “Yeah… I don’t know what to tell you.”
New Starter: “You mean we have to listen to Christmas music every day between now and Christmas?”
Trainer #2: “Actually, until two weeks after Christmas — to encourage customers to buy all those post-holiday sale items. Also, it’s just the same twelve songs over and over since they’re the only ones corporate could license and they don’t like spending money.”
[New Starter]’s face goes a horrific shade of white.
Trainer #2: “Welcome to retail!”
walstib Premium Member about 1 month ago
On St Paddy’s Day, Irish I was Iwish.
rockyridge1977 about 1 month ago
Flip a coin!!!!!
Daltongang Premium Member about 1 month ago
That’s simple we all wish you would just go away.
ladykat about 1 month ago
Stay home.
dflak about 1 month ago
Oh, I will be going out this weekend. That’s where the leaves in my yard are.
pearlyqim about 1 month ago
LOL….that’s perfect!
cuzinron47 about 1 month ago
Just check the wine level in your frig, that should help you decide.
Charlie Fogwhistle about 1 month ago
You can always stand in the doorway till it rains and you go back inside, or until a tornado sucks you outside.
Nobody_Important about 1 month ago
Staying home on a Saturday is my main goal since I need to leave the house every other day.
LrdSlvrhnd about 1 month ago
I’d go with stay in and be glad I stayed in.
Except I have to go out to work so I can’t. Stupid work.
paullp Premium Member about 1 month ago
At the very least, Aunty, if you go out and wish you’d stayed home, you’re going to the wrong places.