Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for November 20, 2024

This Is Why We Have Some Stupid-Sounding Warning Labels

When I started my first job in a restaurant kitchen, I was trained on using the slicer — like what delis use to slice meats and cheese. My trainer told me specifically:

Trainer: “Don’t put your fingers in the blade while it’s running.”

I must’ve looked at her funny because she then told me:

Trainer: “I have to tell you that because we had someone do that, cut off the tip of his finger, and then say, ‘You didn’t tell me not to.’”

This Is Why There Are Warning Labels

About twice a year or so, the beauty department I work in will get completely rearranged to make way for new products and brands. It’s an extremely tedious process because, usually, we clean off all the shelves while we’re at it.

The pusher trays used to hold things like lipstick are notoriously hard to clean, so I get the idea to use compressed air to get the dust out. It works amazingly, and my coworkers go and grab their own cans.

Me: “You know how to use it, right?”

Coworker: “Yeah. I mean, it’s pretty self-explanatory.”

He then proceeds to shake the can.

Me: “Stop! What are you doing?”

Coworker: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Look at the can and read the warning label.”

Coworker: “‘Warning, pressurized air. Do not shake for risk of bodily injury.’ Oh.”

No one reads them anyway.

I would like to know what her warning label said.

Really thinking your mother threw away the child and kept the afterbirth old mean hateful thing.

Technically, ANSI labeling requirements became part of ISO standards for identifying hazardous substances around the time of her birth. Her strongly acidic nature was apparent from the start, and so began the legend of ANSI Acid.

Therefore, Aunty Acid is subjected to periodic ISO audits, with the color labeling for hazardous substances required for prominent display. How she avoids strict compliance is a mystery. But the implicit nature of her being ‘pink-haired’ may give some indication toward her aura of “DANGER!” (— (—

Danger! Acidic!

“When I was born the doctor gave me a whack, I reached around and whacked him back” Mark Lowry

Danger, Will Robinson. Danger!

Caution Warning or Danger??

Caution, contents may be hot.

I love this one!

Subject to mood change without warning.

Them tags always say “remove under penalty of law” so……

Yep.

When I was in my teens I was notoriously known for having a short fuse and because my dad was a fighter pilot my warning label said: Remove Before Flight LOL