It’s a very busy day at the bar. I’ve been buried in the weeds for I don’t know how long, with customers eight-deep all around the bar. I am pumping out drinks as fast as I can.
A pretty little rich girl who has never tipped me a cent orders three shots.
Me: “That’s $22.”
Customer: “Oh, I only have $20 on me.”
She bats her eyelashes.
Customer: “You don’t have to worry about the $2.”
I laugh and tell her:
Me: “Ask one of your friends for it.”
Customer: “Fine, f*** you. What are you going to do, pour them down the drain?”
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.
I down all three shots and with a wave of my hand:
Respecting Business Hours Should Be A Piece Of Cake
I am prepping in a bakery. Bakers will be working for hours getting everything ready before we open, but some customers think if someone is inside the store, we must be open. After this one particular customer has been banging on the door for half an hour I’ve finally had enough.
Me: “What?!”
Customer: “I’ve been trying to get your attention!”
Me: “We’re working and we’re not open yet.”
Customer: “You should have answered the phone! I saw it ringing inside!”
Me: “I don’t do business outside of business hours.”
Customer: “It isn’t business! It’s a phone call.”
Me: “What were you calling about.”
Customer: “I want to order a cake today.”
Me: “That’s business! We open at six!” Slams door closed.
I’m not doing it before opening because we can’t let them think our operational hours are arbitrary.
Customer: “But you have chicken and pork meatballs!”
Me: “Those are premade, ma’am.”
Customer: “Take the chicken out of the meatballs and make a roasted chicken!”
Me: “That’s impossible.”
Customer: “Nothing’s impossible if you try hard enough!”
I tried very hard to explain why we can’t make a roast chicken from frozen premade chicken and pork meatballs. I think she got it but her husband got upset as he wanted to try to get a pork chop out of the meatballs after his wife extracted all the chicken…
I decorated my office at work with a few little winter-themed items: a small wooden snowman, a string of snowflake-shaped lights, and a “LET IT SNOW” sign.
My coworker came in.
Coworker: “You can’t decorate like this.”
Me: “Like what?”
Coworker: “Not everyone celebrates Christmas. You have to take this down.”
Me: “None of this is Christmas-themed.”
Coworker: “Yes, it is!”
Me: “It’s a winter theme because it’s December.”
Coworker: “If you decorate for Christmas, then the Jews can decorate for Hanukkah, and the Indians can decorate for… whatever their thing is. It will all be a jumbled mess!”
Me: “Well, they can. And this is not Christmas. It’s just winter.”
She rolled her eyes and left.
Word spread about her little outburst, and soon, the whole office was decorated with winter and snow things — except for [Coworker]’s space. At least it wasn’t a jumbled mess!
We sleep-trained my son at around four or five months old. He would go down for bed around 6:30 pm (if he put himself down — we still rocked for naptime), wake once around 1:00 am for a bottle, and then sleep until 5:30 or 6:00 am.
We needed my in-laws to come over and just watch the baby monitor while [Son] slept so my husband and I could attend my little cousin’s Sweet Sixteen.
They arrived — unfortunately, just before usual bedtime — with my sister-in-law, her husband, and my husband’s aunt?! (WTF?)
[Mother-In-Law] insisted on rocking him to sleep because she “couldn’t bear to hear him fuss”.
Well, he woke up an hour and a half later as if it was a nap.
I was at this Sweet Sixteen getting photos of my clearly exhausted baby at 9:00… 9:30… 10:00… getting passed around my living room like some kind of toy.
I was livid!
We cried together that night when I got home at 10:30 (after leaving early and missing the candle dedicated to me), trying to get my extremely overtired baby to sleep.
Customer: “I’d like to return this because I heard there was a recall for it in March.”
Me: Glances at calendar. “…Do you have your receipt?”
Customer: “No but I’m pretty sure I bought it here… or was it at [Other Grocery Store]? No, no, I’m pretty sure it was in November when I bought this.”
Me: “I see… Then, I regret to inform you that I cannot refund you for this item.”
Customer: “What? Why not?”
Me: “Just to make sure I heard you correctly… You said you bought this in November?”
Customer: “Yeah.”
Me: “But you heard that it was recalled sometime in March?”
(I am in line at a grocery store when a two-year-old boy starts throwing a fit in the store. He’s laying on the ground, screaming and crying. His mother, who seems very young, rushes over and picks him up to try to calm him down. The cashier ringing me up shakes her head and clicks her tongue.)
Cashier: “This is why people shouldn’t have kids so young; there’s no way they could be good parents. The father probably left her, too. That’s why she’s alone. She should be ashamed.”
Me: “Actually, she is 28 years old and just picked her son up from daycare. Her son is so grumpy because he has a fever, and she’s only in here to buy medicine for him before taking him back home to sleep. Also, her husband was at work all day and just called out early to be home with his sick child and stressed wife.”
Cashier: “Oh, yeah? And how could you possibly know all that?”
Me: holding up the medicine I’m purchasing “Because that’s my cousin.”
(The cashier went wide-eyed, and avoided speaking to me for the rest of the transaction. I did file a complaint against her, but it didn’t lead to anything. She’s just very awkward whenever I come into the store, and avoids me at all costs.)
worked at a bakery in H.S.; 3:30 am- fry the donuts. 4:00 pm make the Danish dough then wash the dishes. JOKE; Customer complains "there is some hair in my bread; Baker " Thats b/c I knead the dough on my bare chest. Customer; “Gross!” Baker " Well you should see how I make donuts"( I miss my dad; Chief Petty Officer Retired; 20 years Navy
In that case, do not let them watch the news. There are several disrespectful BIG jerks in the headlines. But they are who America said they wanted to be the children’s role models.
I believe in discipline, I grew up in a military base, respect for authority, responsibility and tolerance were taught early. And Integrity, without it I am nothing.
Congress is being asked (?) to legislate the internet so children are safe while using it. Why don’t the parental units work with their children to ensure the children’s safety?
On the good side, New Jersey is now another state that has Banned Book Banning!
Yakety Sax about 1 month ago
Pick-olo A Different Coffee
I work in a small Italian coffee place that prides itself on the quality of coffee and the authenticity of the adherence to Italian flavors.
Customer: “Hey guys, do you do piccolo coffee?”
A piccolo is a single espresso with steamed and stretched milk. It’s small, strong, yet creamy.
Me: “Yeah mate, we do piccolos!”
Customer: “Oh, thanks, mate. The last cafe didn’t, and we are coffee connoisseurs!”
Me: “Well, mate, we do, and we have decent coffee!”
Customer: “No worries; I’ll order two!”
They buy it and we give it out. He immediately tips half our sugar container into it and starts mixing.
Customer: Sipping his sugary sludge. “Oh yeah, that’s a good piccolo.”
Yakety Sax about 1 month ago
That Was Always Going To Be A Long Shot
It’s a very busy day at the bar. I’ve been buried in the weeds for I don’t know how long, with customers eight-deep all around the bar. I am pumping out drinks as fast as I can.
A pretty little rich girl who has never tipped me a cent orders three shots.
Me: “That’s $22.”
Customer: “Oh, I only have $20 on me.”
She bats her eyelashes.
Customer: “You don’t have to worry about the $2.”
I laugh and tell her:
Me: “Ask one of your friends for it.”
Customer: “Fine, f*** you. What are you going to do, pour them down the drain?”
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.
I down all three shots and with a wave of my hand:
Me: “F*** off.”
Yakety Sax about 1 month ago
Respecting Business Hours Should Be A Piece Of Cake
I am prepping in a bakery. Bakers will be working for hours getting everything ready before we open, but some customers think if someone is inside the store, we must be open. After this one particular customer has been banging on the door for half an hour I’ve finally had enough.
Me: “What?!”
Customer: “I’ve been trying to get your attention!”
Me: “We’re working and we’re not open yet.”
Customer: “You should have answered the phone! I saw it ringing inside!”
Me: “I don’t do business outside of business hours.”
Customer: “It isn’t business! It’s a phone call.”
Me: “What were you calling about.”
Customer: “I want to order a cake today.”
Me: “That’s business! We open at six!” Slams door closed.
I’m not doing it before opening because we can’t let them think our operational hours are arbitrary.
Yakety Sax about 1 month ago
When Their Brains Are All Meatball
I work at a very cheap roadside restaurant.
Customer: “I want a roast chicken.”
Me: “That’s not on the menu, ma’am.”
Customer: “But you have chicken and pork meatballs!”
Me: “Those are premade, ma’am.”
Customer: “Take the chicken out of the meatballs and make a roasted chicken!”
Me: “That’s impossible.”
Customer: “Nothing’s impossible if you try hard enough!”
I tried very hard to explain why we can’t make a roast chicken from frozen premade chicken and pork meatballs. I think she got it but her husband got upset as he wanted to try to get a pork chop out of the meatballs after his wife extracted all the chicken…
seanfear about 1 month ago
Amen
Yakety Sax about 1 month ago
Well, It Doesn’t Show Signs Of Stoppin’…
I decorated my office at work with a few little winter-themed items: a small wooden snowman, a string of snowflake-shaped lights, and a “LET IT SNOW” sign.
My coworker came in.
Coworker: “You can’t decorate like this.”
Me: “Like what?”
Coworker: “Not everyone celebrates Christmas. You have to take this down.”
Me: “None of this is Christmas-themed.”
Coworker: “Yes, it is!”
Me: “It’s a winter theme because it’s December.”
Coworker: “If you decorate for Christmas, then the Jews can decorate for Hanukkah, and the Indians can decorate for… whatever their thing is. It will all be a jumbled mess!”
Me: “Well, they can. And this is not Christmas. It’s just winter.”
She rolled her eyes and left.
Word spread about her little outburst, and soon, the whole office was decorated with winter and snow things — except for [Coworker]’s space. At least it wasn’t a jumbled mess!
Yakety Sax about 1 month ago
We Invited You To Babysit, Not To Play House!
We sleep-trained my son at around four or five months old. He would go down for bed around 6:30 pm (if he put himself down — we still rocked for naptime), wake once around 1:00 am for a bottle, and then sleep until 5:30 or 6:00 am.
We needed my in-laws to come over and just watch the baby monitor while [Son] slept so my husband and I could attend my little cousin’s Sweet Sixteen.
They arrived — unfortunately, just before usual bedtime — with my sister-in-law, her husband, and my husband’s aunt?! (WTF?)
[Mother-In-Law] insisted on rocking him to sleep because she “couldn’t bear to hear him fuss”.
Well, he woke up an hour and a half later as if it was a nap.
I was at this Sweet Sixteen getting photos of my clearly exhausted baby at 9:00… 9:30… 10:00… getting passed around my living room like some kind of toy.
I was livid!
We cried together that night when I got home at 10:30 (after leaving early and missing the candle dedicated to me), trying to get my extremely overtired baby to sleep.
Never again.
Yakety Sax about 1 month ago
Total Recall, Part 2
Customer: “I’d like to return this because I heard there was a recall for it in March.”
Me: Glances at calendar. “…Do you have your receipt?”
Customer: “No but I’m pretty sure I bought it here… or was it at [Other Grocery Store]? No, no, I’m pretty sure it was in November when I bought this.”
Me: “I see… Then, I regret to inform you that I cannot refund you for this item.”
Customer: “What? Why not?”
Me: “Just to make sure I heard you correctly… You said you bought this in November?”
Customer: “Yeah.”
Me: “But you heard that it was recalled sometime in March?”
Customer: “Maybe April, I dunno.”
Me: “Sir… It’s August.”
Yakety Sax about 1 month ago
It’s Bratty To Assume
(I am in line at a grocery store when a two-year-old boy starts throwing a fit in the store. He’s laying on the ground, screaming and crying. His mother, who seems very young, rushes over and picks him up to try to calm him down. The cashier ringing me up shakes her head and clicks her tongue.)
Cashier: “This is why people shouldn’t have kids so young; there’s no way they could be good parents. The father probably left her, too. That’s why she’s alone. She should be ashamed.”
Me: “Actually, she is 28 years old and just picked her son up from daycare. Her son is so grumpy because he has a fever, and she’s only in here to buy medicine for him before taking him back home to sleep. Also, her husband was at work all day and just called out early to be home with his sick child and stressed wife.”
Cashier: “Oh, yeah? And how could you possibly know all that?”
Me: holding up the medicine I’m purchasing “Because that’s my cousin.”
(The cashier went wide-eyed, and avoided speaking to me for the rest of the transaction. I did file a complaint against her, but it didn’t lead to anything. She’s just very awkward whenever I come into the store, and avoids me at all costs.)
FreyjaRN Premium Member about 1 month ago
More parents need to understand this.
If I was a brat, I’d catch hell at home. I tried to be very good, as Mom’s anger was a cold and cutting thing.
TStyle78 about 1 month ago
I work in retail and I see unruly kids everyday. The parents just let them run around and do whatever they want.
Doug K about 1 month ago
Being a (good) parent does not mean letting your children be or letting do whatever they want.
klbdds about 1 month ago
worked at a bakery in H.S.; 3:30 am- fry the donuts. 4:00 pm make the Danish dough then wash the dishes. JOKE; Customer complains "there is some hair in my bread; Baker " Thats b/c I knead the dough on my bare chest. Customer; “Gross!” Baker " Well you should see how I make donuts"( I miss my dad; Chief Petty Officer Retired; 20 years Navy
Carl Premium Member about 1 month ago
OTOH there are also the entitled elders to deal with.
PraiseofFolly about 1 month ago
On the far side of the mirror, Aunty might see how she was raised.
dbrucepm about 1 month ago
kids can be kids and still behave like civilized human beings
dflak about 1 month ago
In that case, do not let them watch the news. There are several disrespectful BIG jerks in the headlines. But they are who America said they wanted to be the children’s role models.
djtenltd about 1 month ago
I can most definitely agree with Auntie A because I worked as a NYC School Safety officer for 32 years so I know all about it!
ThreeDogDad Premium Member about 1 month ago
Dare to dream.
rockyridge1977 about 1 month ago
Yep….all that phone time will do it!!!!!
ladykat about 1 month ago
I agree with you, Aunty.
Holden Awn about 1 month ago
Parents haven’t remembered that in several past decades, what makes you think they’ll remember it in 2025?
cuzinron47 about 1 month ago
And look how you turned out.
Smeagol about 1 month ago
I believe in discipline, I grew up in a military base, respect for authority, responsibility and tolerance were taught early. And Integrity, without it I am nothing.
ragsarooni about 1 month ago
Amen to THAT‼️ However,I think that is still wishful thinking…..
pearlyqim about 1 month ago
Well said Aunty!
crazeekatlady about 1 month ago
Congress is being asked (?) to legislate the internet so children are safe while using it. Why don’t the parental units work with their children to ensure the children’s safety?
On the good side, New Jersey is now another state that has Banned Book Banning!
mistercatworks about 1 month ago
I get the “weren’t you ever a kid”.
“Yeah, I was a kid. I called adults ‘sir’. I worked on a tobacco farm two summers and I ate what was given me.”
cbgoldeneagle2 about 1 month ago
Amen
Ernest_CT 29 days ago
ROFLMAO!