Home Free by Tom Toro for November 20, 2024

So did you like/hate your Uncle enough to chop his head off?

She knows her brother very well…

P2: “No, but your giblets are delicious.”

Are you trying to make me feel guilty about that turkey chest I cooked in my Crock Pot today?

Will his uncle use the head of that turkey as a clapper in a bell?

Julia already knows what’s going to happen. If I were her, I’d go and sit in the car right away.

In a funeral home the other day, I saw someone who was a dead ringer for Quasimodo.

Why is this reminding me of the oblivious Sarah Palin interview where they were slaughtering turkeys behind her?

I would like to point out that turkeys do not fan their tails except in mating displays, or occasionally aggressively. However, first- and second-grade teachers have lied and conditioned us all not to recognize a turkey without that tail-fanning.