Bound and Gagged by Dana Summers for November 18, 2009

I bet the guard is using bird shot for ammo.

Love it! The guard only gets paid in seed, but it’s a living…

What’s wrong with feeding squirrels?

I want one.

Squirrel proof feeder? Right! I’d also like to order a raccoon proof trashcan. And a teenager proof refrigerator while you’re at it.

Must be designed by the N. R. A.

squirrel proof bird feeder? there wil always be a way to defeat that.

Lewreader: if you ever find a teenager proof refrigerator let me know even though my son is past his teen years, he still raids the fridge constantly.

What’s wrong with feeding squirrels? Well, the birds I feed don’t gnaw their way into my garage and tear up paper and plastic products in there in order to make nests for themselves like the squirrels in my neighborhood do. The birds I feed also don’t break open the English walnuts from my trees by tossing them down onto my cars and making dents and scratches in the paint like the squirrels do. But the squirrels do make nice booms and sparks when they get across two electric feeder lines while chasing each other, thereby also keeping the electric company’s linemen busy and testing the response time of the local fire department.

Squirrel proof bird feeder? No such animal. Look for videos called ‘Daylight Robbery’ and ‘Daylight Robbery 2’, I think you’ll enjoy them. (Not the recently released movie, but a cute documentary about squirrels and their abilities as thieves).

rickmac1937, according to the rednecks here in Georgia, they are properly called tree-rats.

This I know, and know full well, squirrel stew tastes mighty swell.

MisngNOLA said, about 2 hours ago

squirrels do make nice booms and sparks when they get across two electric feeder lines while chasing each other, thereby also keeping the electric company’s linemen busy and testing the response time of the local fire department.

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I wanna see MY squirrels go Boom and spark!!!

Don’t count on it.

Gosh, I got my first, and I hope only, deletion. I made reference to a Tom Lehrer song this morning, and it isn’t here now. I wasn’t suggesting following the song’s advice, just bringing up the fact that all kinds of “wild” animals can get used to being fed by humans. If I offended anyone, I didn’t mean to. I’m a good girl, I am.

Nope, my reputation is still unsullied. It was Reynolds Unwrapped that got the Lehrer reference. Whew!

What’s wrong with her face?