Pickles by Brian Crane for May 07, 2009

I never metaphor I didn’t like.

(A friend of mine was once making a presentation to a bunch of people at some Silicon Valley start-up when she said “It’s not rocket science”. There was an awkward silence, so she asked what was wrong. Turns out they were all rocket scientists.)

Take comfort Earl. She married you for something other than your brains. Must’ve been your brawn.

Earl, aren’t you supposed to turn off the water first?

Is Earl a handy man that can fix everything around their house? I doubt it.

I’m useless when it comes to fixing things. My dad’s job required him to travel, so he was gone a lot. I learned all my mother’s skills, so I am good cook and baker and artist, but put a tool in my hand and all I can show for it are bloody knuckles and a repair bill.

Earl wishes that button was on her mouth, huh?

Blurble-Glug-Griggle-Blub!!!

and, a fool and his money is worth two in the bush

Eh, just jiggle the thingy and listen for the “thunk”.

I used to work at a guvmint facility supporting rocket scientists. They were not the brightest light bulb in the crayon box.

I used to work at a guvmint facility supporting rocket scientists. They were not the brightest light bulb in the crayon box.

I have a friend who is a rocket scientist and can’t work the stereo

With all those years of school, rocket scientists have precious little room left for such tedious information as how to operate simpler machines.