Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for November 17, 2001

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling In A Cave Near Azra Man: Bad news, General! It's not going well out there! General: I don't if our morale can take any more bad news! What is it? Man: The accursed Emmy Awards were held after all! General: A thousand plagues! How will we tell Osama?! General: If only the Emmys had been canceled -- then we, the terrorists, would would have WON! Man: It's worse! Kelsey Grammer did not cancel his "Frasier" promotional tour to New York, saying that if he didn't go, the terrorists WIN!! General: So they know what we're up to! General: By the hoary beard of Satan, these Hollywood stars are made of tough stuff. General: After all, our only goal is to scare fabulous celebs into canceling publicity appearances! Man: General! Something's coming on EOnline.com! Man: Renee Zellweger canceled her trip to Paris to promote the French premiere of "Bridget Jones's Diary." General: That means... Man: WE WIN! General: Victory is ours! Terminate all operations! Man #2: Nice working with you...