Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for February 16, 2002

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Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling With the recent addition of the snowboarding and curling events, the Olympic committee started an encouragingly inclusive and populist trend! Watch for these new OLYMPIC EVENTS AT SALT LAKE CITY Team Snowball Fighting Not only does the U.S.A. team have excellent fort building capabilities, but the fact that each match ends when a team either gives up or is called in for dinner gives the Western-time-zoned Americans a distinct advantage. Downhill Snowplow USA The United States' best shot here is David Platt of Newtowne, Va, who had one particularly spectacular run during the trials, falling only twice! The key here is how early Platt gets to the rental shop, increasing his chances of getting boots that fit. Men's Individual De-Icing The Europeans are expected to have the upper hand in this event, scheduled at 7:00 am in the snow basin parking lot. The U.S.A. team chose an S.U.V. to work on, a disastrous decision given the importance of minimizing vehicle surface area. Snow Angel Making Like figure skating, this is an aesthetics-based event with judging on overall presentation. The U.S.A. team has the edge, with its choice to use "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor as musical accompaniment for every performance. Traying A collegiate sport that finally makes the big time, this event involves the use of stolen cafeteria trays. This is the only event in which a positive drug test result is a prerequisite for participation.