Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for September 20, 2003

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling A Presidential Message, From Wilkes Land, Antarctica George W. Bush: The invasion of Antarctica has been a stunning success -- U.S. forces now hold the entire continent. George W. Bush: Now, there are critics who say that Antarctica was never a threat to attack America... George W. Bush: Well, one thing is certain: the Antarctica regime will NOT attack America, because the Antarctica regime IS NO MORE! George W. Bush: Those who said our invasion of Antarctica had nothing to do with the war on terror must feel pretty foolish now! George W. Bush: Since the invasion, Antarctica has become a HOTBED of TERRORISTS, including Al Qaeda, Greenpeace, Member Nations of the UN, and a minority -- I stress, a MINORITY -- of indigenous penguins! George W. Bush: Troop morale is HIGH, as our soldiers are COMMITTED to an indefinite length of stay in this non-hostile frozen wasteland! George W. Bush: And so I must ask Congress for $100 billion to ensure Antarctican stability and democracy and a $60 Halliburton stock price. George W. Bush: What we learned from 9/11 is that you can't WAIT for the terrorists to come to YOU -- or even for them to become terrorists! God bless America, and bring it on!