Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for March 21, 2009

Transcript:

if you bought a human organ here, please bring it back! and we will not involve the police... medicated morty* *formerly, "crazy morty" electronics and more! morty: you'd be "sane" to shop at my store! if you visit during a relapse, wawawa! blu-ray at a substantial, yet unmistakably rational discount! camera for a price that's low, yet quite sane! our new pledge: there is no planet-wide underground machinery. nor was there ever. ipods at msrp!! hdtv speakers you'll say: "that price is clearly the product of a properly functioning mind!" toenail clippings no longer sold we'd thank you not to ask. state truth-in-advertising laws, as well as standard business ethics, require us to honor certain offers made in morty's less lucid times. if you bring in "bat droppings," you may not use them to purchase a flat-screen tv, but we will give you 5% off. "our prices are so rational, we'll make a modest profit on each transaction!" take it from morty's doctor: doc: morty zimmerman's new cocktail of atypical antipsychotic drugs has proven effective in managing his mental illness. however, i don't thik i'm violating any patient/doctor confidentiality when i tell you that if you show up with a bag of live ants at about 4pm, when his meds levels are lowest, you might get very lucky.