Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for July 03, 2011

Humpin’ up mountains? He IS mountains!

Perhaps he had other notions of the term humpin’

It’s “All you can be”, not “All you can eat”.

Fat chance.

A rerun but a goodie. I suspect this is taped up in a lot of recruitment centers . . . but not where recruits or higher officers can see it.

Hey, in America that’s how we roll!

If the Army recruiter had been on the job at 6 AM, I would not have ended up in the World’s Finest Fighting Force. Probably would have put on some weight to my teenage body too. Oh well, my DD214 lists “hit man” and “minimum wage Security Guard” under related civilian occupations. Can speak a smattering of Vietnamese looks good on the resume.

GT pokes fun at Americans and at foreigners, excepting those who rule by apartheid. GT loves apartheid and worships those who enforce apartheid on the indigenous population whose land they stole, whose houses they razed, whose wells they poisoned, whose olive trees they uprooted, whose commerce they thwarted. GT feels it’s the duty of the American military to carry out the strategy devised by those who carry two passports — in GT’s world, that’s what Americans ought to celebrate on the Fourth of July.

The first thing I thought of was Pvt. Leonard “Gomer Pyle” Lawrence of Full Metal Jacket.

Those of you making fat jokes have it all wrong. He clearly thinks basic training is a reality show like Biggest Loser.

exactly!

“Jason Nabors”? Would there have been a problem if the character was named James or Jim.

Um Tigger, Jim Nabors isn’t dead. As a matter of fact, he sung at the Indy 500 (again) just this past Memorial Day weekend.

@gladly is Palestinian, apparently . . .

Berets are out, patrol caps are in.

…start him on video game boot camp and work from there…

…use the airline standard and count him as two recruits…

TSgt Moore: You ain’t gonna eat no bread, no corn, no pie, cake, desserts of any kind. No whole milk, no beans, no butter, no sugar, no potatoes, candy, ice cream, salad dressing or peanut butter… You came here with nothing but fat. You’re gonna leave here with nothing but muscle.

Jack Webb, The D.I.

Sgt Truman should send Sgt Hartman a referral. Bet he could motivate Nabors … one way or another.

I have heard they have “fat tables” in the mess hall during basic training for those folks needing to drop a few (or a bunch of) pounds but I have a feeling this guy is too far off the charts to even pass the pre-induction physical.

@ gladlythecrosseyedwhatWhat is it with you and apartheid? How does a spoof on military recruitment talk to apartheid? Did you ever serve? If not, SHUT THE F*** UP!!

Yup, young Jason has certainly been sucking some things up

“Come back and see me in 6 months and a hundred lighter, or you may want to check with the Navy across the hall.”

So in ObamaWorld ‘fatties’ are not a protected class. Get your insults ready, it’s gonna be a tummy bumpin’ night.

You know why the government is getting so concerned about kids’ health these days? The military complained about this problem. It’s sad that it took that to get attention.But remember, this guy could still get in shape.

I’m reminded of all the “athletes”, football especially, that couldn’t be drafted because of bad knees in the "Nam era, but could still sign pro contracts. Today, the low percentage of kids who can serve because of physical decline, are STILL watching those pro athletes, instead of actually moving themselves.

why did the sgt.. change his watch from his left wrist to his right then back again?

I thought GLADLY was talking about the American Indians until the part about the olive trees. Then he lost me.

I’m sure GT has holidays and vacations in his syndication contracts, and sabbaticals for other projects.

If he’s from Gaza, he ain’t no Palestinian! That’s the name of the Land of Israel for 2,000 years, long before Islam was invented and the Arabs invaded Judeo-Christian Palestine. That’s why the Crusaders went there to liberate the land from Arab occupation, and not the other way around. And that’s why Israel liberated the “west bank” in 1967 from Arab occupation, and not the other way around.

MCRD San Diego (Platoon 304) took 1 180-lb J.C. dropout who couldn’t do ONE pullup, and turned him into a 155-pound trained killing machine, in only eleven weeks, starting five weeks after JFK was murdered by [He-who-must-not-be-named]. I imagine it’s still working, just not quite sure anymore WHY…