Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 04, 2004

Transcript:

"Angry Bob was angry. He did not like his job. He did not like his socks." "'I need a vacation,' he said. Angry Bob went to Hawaii." "Angry Bob sat in his hotel room. It smelled. 'I do not like my smelly hotel room.'" "Angry Bob went to the beach. It was hot. 'I do not like this hot beach.'" "Angry Bob went to a tiki bar overlooking the ocean. He drank. And he drank. Soon, he was happy." "After a few more drinks, Bob needed to use the bathroom. 'Second door to the right,' said the bartender." "As Angry Bob walked down the hall, a tear of joy rolled down his drunken cheek." "'So this is what it is like to be truly happy,' Bob exclaimed, as he walked through the third door on the left, which led out the back of the bar and straight down into the ocean." "Angry Bob fell into the cold, dark sea. Drowning, Bob realized that the same booze that had brought him such bountiful joy had also diminished his listening skills." "Lesson learned, Bob died." "I always like to end on a uplifting note."