Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 15, 2006

Transcript:

The Adventures of Angry Bob by Rat Angry Bob was angry. type type Angry Bob looked out his window and saw two little girls in green dresses going door-to-door with boxes of cookies. type type "I can only assume those little girls are raising funds for their scouting organization," said Bob. "I will assist them by buying a box of cookies. Helping others will bring me happiness." type type type type Eager to perform his act of kindness, Bob threw open his front door and skipped merrily toward the little girls. type type type "Oh, girls! Girls!" he shouted as he approached them from behind. Getting no response, he tapped one of them on the shoulder. type type type And heard a man scream. And heard two loud pops. type type type type Falling, Bob saw the sign: "HELP AN ARMED, DEAF, EASILY-STARTLED, CROSS-DRESSING MIDGET GO TO SUMMER CAMP" type type Ignominiously, Bob expired. type type "Never assume."