Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 13, 2007

Transcript:

ANGRY BOB by Rat TYPE TYPE Angry Bob was angry. "I am angry because I am lonely," said Angry Bob. "I must find a woman." TYPE TYPE TYPE TYPE He went to a bar. He sat on a barstool. TYPE TYPE He saw a crowd gathered around a man. "What is going on?" Bob asked the woman next to him. TYPE TYPE TYPE "That's Dangerous Dan," she said, "He's the most dangerous fighter in the U.F.S.." "What is the U.F.S.?" asked Bob. TYPE TYPE "The Ultimate Fighting Series," she said, "It's on TV." "I do not like fighting," said Bob." TYPE TYPE TYPE The woman stared at Bob. "It is refreshing to meet a man who admits physical weakness. I would like to get to know you better." TYPE TYPE TYPE The woman took Bob's hand and led him to her car outside. They turned on the stereo. they kissed. TYPE TYPE TYPE TYPE And for the first time in his angry 38 years, Bob was happy. Happy kissing. Listening to music. Hearing the rhythmic knock. TYPE TYPE On the window. Made by Dan. Who had gone out to his wife's car to see why the headlights were on. TYPE TYPE Bob died. Many times. "There are worse things than being lonely."