Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 21, 2011

  1. Emerald
    margueritem  over 13 years ago

    Amen, Rat.

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  2. Right here
    Sherlock Watson  over 13 years ago

    Hmm, nothing in the warning against using it in the shower; that must be safe.

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    Sisyphos  over 13 years ago

    And that’s exactly how the feds (and Luddites) want you, Rat!

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    hariseldon59  over 13 years ago

    It’s funny because it’s true.

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    Keno21  over 13 years ago

    “WARNING! Instruction manuals may cause high blood pressure, anxiety, and sever depression!”

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    arye uygur  over 13 years ago

    For years I’ve been putting slices of bread on the gas burner of my stove and turning them over after a few seconds

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    orinoco womble  over 13 years ago

    They tell you all that…and then you notice the stupid thing is 90% plastic.

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    NCTom Premium Member over 13 years ago

    We just got a new toaster yesterday, and I noticed all that. But my favorite is not to immerse in water. I so wanted to do that with the old toaster before throwing it out.

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    zero  over 13 years ago

    Yeah frivolous lawsuits AND the overpopulation of idiots.Who likely couldn’t read much less grasp a warning label.

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    AnonymousUser  over 13 years ago

    Caution. This manual indiciates that all people are too dumb to live or has too many lawyers on this planet.

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    up2trixx  over 13 years ago

    Years ago I lived in an apartment that had a fireplace. It was too dirty to keep a pile of firewood so I burned those artificial imitation fire logs. Once when lighting one I noticed it had printed on it:

    “Caution: RISK OF FIRE”

    Really. On a product whose only purpose is to burn…

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    waynl  over 13 years ago

    Oh great!!! My English muffin just got stuck in my toaster while reading the strip. Anyone got a knife or a fork so I can remove it???

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    A.Ficionada  over 13 years ago

    Nice having a former-lawyer cartoonist to point out this kind of banality in color! Friends from other countries just mock and shake their heads, which really doesn’t have as much entertainment value :-)

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    mac47  over 13 years ago

    EVIL TOASTER!

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    A_NY_Outlaw  over 13 years ago

    Wait until Pig and Rat find out about the coffee maker!

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    pocounohamster  over 13 years ago

    This is really funny…wonder why Stephan likes to hide the strips he thinks no one will see on Sunday? It also happens to be true with the stupid warnings the manufacturers put on their products.

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    Number Three  over 13 years ago

    Be careful!

    xxx

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    Defective Premium Member over 13 years ago

    We used to say, and it was true, that instructions like these were written because someone did them. I used to work on an aircraft with props, instead of jets. There was a bold texted, large font, red highlighted warning in the aircraft manual to not walk under them while they were in use! There’s no such thing as common sense.

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    ninetoes  over 13 years ago

    For every stupid warning on every product, there is an idiot the won a lawsuit.

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    TheSpanishInquisition  over 13 years ago

    You’re toast, Rat.

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  21. Destiny
    Destiny23  over 13 years ago

    Remember what happened to the cell phone in Transformers. Our appliances really are out to get us!

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    codedaddy  over 13 years ago

    My grand kids will be disappointed – I unwrapped something yesterday and the warning on the wrap said to “Keep away from children”.

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    AlbertNonyMouse  over 13 years ago

    For all of you wondering why such stupidity is necessary, just keep one small thing in mind: half of all Americans are of below average intelligence, and a whole lot more aren’t much smarter than that. It’s something especially to consider when reflecting on our current political situation…

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    tsandl  over 13 years ago

    It’s the first one that always gets me.Why do they bother telling people who are obviously reading the manual that they need to read the manual?

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    fmasroor  over 13 years ago

    I wonder if Rat was the one who wrote it!

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    AGED_ENGINEER Premium Member over 13 years ago

    Am I the only one here who smells another hit for Blue Oyster Cult?

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    Fan o’ Lio.  over 13 years ago

    First you tell them what you’re going to tell them. Then you tell them. Then you tell them what you told them.

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    squirrel500  over 13 years ago

    Can toasters be dangerous??

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    yesitisi  over 13 years ago

    Haha! Lolz! :) I love this, but I think Mr. Pastis is getting too detailed on the drawings… They are starting to look less endearing…

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  30. Thinker1
    Fan o’ Lio.  over 13 years ago

    Nothing can be worse than the multitude of fine print warnings that come with our medications. A sleep aid which warns “may cause drowsiness” is one silly example.

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    arye uygur  over 13 years ago

    @A.Ficionado: No, I’m in NY, but I’ve been in Xinjiang twice and picked this Avatar to draw attention to the plight of the Uyghurs as they’re not getting the sympathy that the Tibetans (further south) are getting, probably because they’re Muslims and the Chinese are playing the terorist card to keep them down (let me know if you’ve read this, otherwise I’ll re-post it tomorrow)

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    bloody rainbow ^_^  over 13 years ago

    LOL

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    Hussell  over 13 years ago

    @SusanSunshine, after you told me about your comment in yesterday’s comic, had to look. True story, when I was, maybe 8 or 9, I overheard my mother telling friend that so-and-so lost their baby and my first thought was, “who loses a baby, they should remember where they put it”. Kind of funny now, but i wasn’t really thinking of it as a joke at that time. In hindsight I am glad I thought it and didn’t say it.Cheers.

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    Dryden  over 13 years ago

    Very well said, Stephan. We are truly living in a nanny state.

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    Liam Astle Premium Member over 13 years ago

    Reminds me of the “Happy Fun Ball” skit from Saturday Night Live.

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    bmonk  over 13 years ago

    My favorite toaster site—especially the line: “At this point, the researchers also realized that the heat could inadvertently melt the adhesive cellophane and cause the flaming SPTs to suddenly eject from the toaster. Unfortunately, this did not occur.”

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    RinaFarina  over 13 years ago

    Yes, @arye, I had been wondering why you chose that name and that avatar. Good enough reason.

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    Popeyesforearm  over 13 years ago

    My favorite is “do not use iron while wearing clothes.” If you did this, and obviously someone did, you deserve to get burned.

    That’s one bada*s toaster. The James Bond model.

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    fmasroor  over 13 years ago

    Warning: Food may burn in product. Risk of poisoning.

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    ArtCreator  about 13 years ago

    I thought all of that was common sense.

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    ReneeZimbodgi  almost 13 years ago

    Same with me and a lawn mower.

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    Pearlslover01  almost 12 years ago

    Warning: Product hot when heated.

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    The Homa  about 11 years ago

    I once had headphones that said that Microsoft would not be responsible if destroyed by “Acts of God”.

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  44. Pogo
    We has seen the enemy  almost 6 years ago

    One of your better ones Stephan.

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    Darth Revan II  about 4 years ago

    I wonder why products always come with warning labels. I recently ordered a star destroyer, and it had about eighty-seven pages of warnings.

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