Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 04, 2011

Actually, Goat’s talking to a couple of slow bumps.

In my really small car (think Mr Otterloop’s in Cul de Sac), I slow down almost to a stop before going over the speed bumps in my neighborhood shopping center’s parking lot. I don’t wear an Evil Knievel suit. I wouldn’t try to explain “speed bump” to Pig, either.

In Southern Europe where I live, speed bumps are known as “sleeping policemen”.

In America, our ‘sleeping policemen’ are, well, sleeping policemen. And why do we call it a ‘hot water heater’, when it heats cold water…?

There’s technique…if you hit your brakes JUST EXACTLY the right time you don’t have to slow down at all, and you don’t fly, either.

They’re fun the other way, too.but borrow somebody else’s car.RENTAL time…

another great in a collection of life – I feel the exasperation Goat feels

Our city has no need of speed bumps. We have drainage ditches, which are upside down, but very efficient at slowing traffic at most corners.

We have speed bump awards at work. Recipients impede progress whenever possible.

I would like to see someone invent a dynamic speed bump for our roads and freeways. The more a driver is exceeding the speed limit, the greater height of the bump that rises just in front of their car. After they hit their heads on the roof of the car a few times, they’ll get the message — slow down!

Yay, Rat! I rarely say that, but I hate those speed bumps. They rearrange my internal organs even when I am at the speed limit.

Rat’s gonna end up with speed bumps on his head. They just put these dang things on the road I take from the office. They worked ’cause I take another direction. Damnable things on my shocks and neck.

Speed HUMPS (the bigger, squarer, smoother ones) aren’t so bad, but speed BUMPS (the smaller, round, rougher ones) are a bear..I’d know, too—I have to go over thirteen of ’em every time I enter or leave my apartment complex.

Poor Goat is getting an ear full.

xxx

@SherlockWatson So true, so true. When isn’t he?

An illegal automobile substitute for a skate park, no construction needed.

wait, what? u mean ur supposed to slow down??? i agree w/rat why r they called SPEED bumps – LOL (btw i tell that to my kids all the time) kinda like parkways, driveways etc…

When did he run over a policeman?

They used to put a double row of round metal domes in the road, fixed in the centre, so not only did you get the “bump”, they also rattled to tell the world that someone was going too fast near the school or hospital or whatever. Then when the economy went bad people started stealing the metal domes to sell for scrap…now we have the regulation “bumps.”

I used to have problems with speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over them.

It’s fun to think in the last panel Goat isn’t face-palming, but that still pigs arm