Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for January 10, 2012

never count on your sphincter. It will let you down at the worst possible times.

Is she contagious?

CONTRACTMeaning: Squeeze or press togetherSynonyms: constrict; compress; contract; compact; press; squeezeContext examples: she compressed her lips / the spasm contracted the muscle

The crap you say.

My contract with my sphincter didn’t hold up in court. It signed the contract with an asterisk.

Never going to get in the B-52s with your mouth like that.

is this a contract to restrain yourself?

I always lose count, I don’t understand contracts and sphincters frighten the crap out of me. So which is worse – incompetence or incontinence?

“experience is a great teacher, but she submits one hell of a bill”

“I’ve gotta contract on you, " she said, suggestively touching his shirtfront. “May I?”

“Sure,” he said. “That sounds like fun…”

She is obviously promoting counting your sphincters AFTER they contract.

Yes, it’s very hard to stay angry when you’re feeling like you need to puke.

Lessee here sphincter contraction. Sphinct’r isn’t any shorter. Sphnctr might work. How to you do it?

Tee – Are you channeling Hedley Lamarr again? DBV

Don’t count your boobies until they’re hatched:

http://4brightminds.info/thurber/unicorn_garden.jpg

I will not trust any of my sphincters to a bouffant-crowned, safety-masked refugee from the early 1960’s! I’d rather sit on a slitted sheet and monitor my heartbeat….

The commentors are so good here @FA we don’t even need a new strip anymore….

That is because we have reached that Froggy state of mind where we join Teresa in that mystical, whimsical FrogApplause Land in which she lives.

Everybody’s busy counting their boobies. Or sphincters. Or both.

On the man with doll blog post: I did a Google search on ‘Fargart & Fils’ to see if it would come up with anything. and the suggestion Google made for what it thought I was really looking for was hilarious. Fart and Files indeed.Maybe the man needed shoes for the doll, he was in front of a shoe store.

*Frog Applause and Frog Blog do not discriminate on the basis of race, age, color, religion, national origin or ancestry, sex, gender, disability, veteran status, genetic information, rotifericity, sexual orientation, or gender identity or expression.

I hate peanuts, does that count?