Pickles by Brian Crane for March 18, 2012

What happened to the days when everyone looked older than me? I still feel like a kid, but they have the nerve to call me sir.

Yeah, I ‘m not impressed by journalists on TV who look like they’re on work experience from High School.

This happens because in our heads we are still whatever age we enjoyed the most. Me, I’m 27, have been for over 20 years.

Ah, but gets me is all the State Troopers look like they should be burped..\\//_

Watched a Brady Bunch the other day, and was surprised at how young and fit Alice actually was. Heck, even Aunt Bee is starting to look not so old!

I started to gain forehead when I was sixteen. Never got carded until I was 20, and that was at the Top of the Mark in San Francisco. The only place in town that carded EVERYbody. Baldness is no indicator.

I was watching “The Big Sleep” the other day and noticed that Lauren Bacall was only 22 when the movie was made. She looked (to me) at least 10 years older. Also interesting, Humphrey Bogart, her squeeze-to-be, was 47 at the time.

We had a kid in our school that was completely bald by his senior year

When I started as a RN in the ER, I thought it normal that people in their 40’s had heart attacks. Before I left the ER, if someone had a heart attack an expired, we all shook our head and said, “They were only in thier 70’s”.

Maybe Earl needs to go see their other doctor. The Optometrist.

If I am forced to make a guess at women’s ages, I have a method. It’s complicated to explain, but takes only a few seconds to use.

1.What is their husbands age? Use that age to start.If not known, add twenty years to oldest child.If not known, add fourty years to oldest grandchild.If not known, estimate generously off of appearance.2. Subtract ten years. If result is below twenty, use twenty, if result is above fifty, use fifty. 3. Relay guess from above.

One name “Edward R. Murrow”.One of the last true “Journalists”.

Hahahahahaha! Trust Earl!

xxx

I thought Earl and Opal had a car. Maybe they left their car at home. Sitting at a bus stop- maybe they gave up driving.

strange comment thread for a funny about air-headedness.