Rubes by Leigh Rubin for April 14, 2012

That sounds like a vegan diet for you, Count.

And stay out of the daylight.

Quit biting Colonel Sanders and start nibbling at the Jolly Green Giant.

And 5000 iu of Vitamin D3 per day.

I’m safe.

Brown shirt and a pointer head and it’s scary gary.

It pays to be picky.

Try sinking your fangs into an apple a day.

Surely you’re mistaken.

Transylvania transfusion

But the fat sluggish ones are so easy to catch.