Broom Hilda by Russell Myers for December 28, 2009

Poor Broomie….

Not if you order them online.

You could just go to a big old department store or to a “big box” store and avoid the embarrassment of the specialty shop….

What’s the prob’? You wear the same thing every day anyway. :))

Isn’t there something about - if the shoe fits ….?

Keep your shirt on, Broomie. Short & dumpy is around the corner.

Reminds me of my childhood.

BC13: “Keep your shirt on, Broomie.”

That’s going to make it hard to try on any NEW clothes…

New, bright clothes might improve her appearance. Something in a cheerful colour, other than black, for example.

Oh yes, and it ought to go with her neon-green skin - that might limit the choice somewhat…

Or red… for that Christmas look.

What’s more Christmasy that a blood red, big green BOOGER!

“Short” is clearly the antonym of “tall”, so I guess that leaves “ugly” as the antonym of “big” (syntax is reversed, but there you go…).

(Spoken as someone who’s bigger than most and taller than most but can still buy off the rack, so I don’t have a dog in this fight.)

This being the neighborhood of the Enchanted Forest, we shouldn’t expect the nomenclature of the stores to have any consistency either…save with the First Law of Cartoon Physics (repeat after me, children: “Only When It’s Funny”). So since “Short and Small’ wouldn’t be funny but “Short and Ugly’ would be (cruelly) funny, well…

This message paid for by the Texas Committee for Pedanticism in the Arts and Sciences.

In the movie Back to School, Rodney Dangerfield plays the owner of a chain of “Tall and Fat” men’s wear stores. When he goes to college, a student recognizes him and says, “You’re ‘Tall and Fat’!” to which Rodney says, “You’re short and ugly!”

That was soooo… cold, but funny.