Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for May 30, 2012

Guess Chip’s having a pipe dream.

How many times have we told him not to smoke when he reads the Doonesbury postings?

And now he’s just a ball o’ fire.

@BeviekDid you mean Ain’t got no time for that?Well, if Chip didn’t pay his fire bill then we don’t.

It was muscatel. The cheap kind.

Mrs B, if you want glitter, we’ll get you glitter.

Apropos of absolutely nothing, my uncle, who had a ranch in New Mexico, always said he would never hire a cowboy who smoked a pipe and wore a straw. His reason? The cowboy would spend half his time chasing his hat and the other half trying to get his dang pipe lit.

Mornin’ everybody… I’m still so tired I keep falling asleep…just like Chip…except he’s gonna set the world on fire….and I’m not.

Guess I should have gone to be instead of answering people on yesterday’s strip…Ballard Street stays up LATE!

Whoa — X and Beviek…. for a sec I thought that was Gary Glitter….you certainly don’t want him!

Bev — I almost asked that guy why somebody called “Potroast” would ask anything at all about US…LOL.But they never come back, anyway, those types.

Anyhow, gotta sleep… see ya later!Bev, come by the salon as soon as the blinds are up… hope you’re hair will be OK till then.It’s not on fire is it?If it is, PUT IT OUT!Don’t wait for me!I’d say the last few days were a rousing success!Except for Essex not showing up, of course.And a few yak meatballs here and there.

Doncha hate when the chips are burned?

Potroast said, about 9 hours ago:“What are you people?”

beviek said, about 9 hours ago@Potroast: “Why, we’re the denizens of Ballard Street.Are you cooked or raw?

You’re not going to shoot us, are you?”

Of all the funny stories, comments and pictures yesterday, I actually LAUGHED OUT LOUD at this exchange!!!!!!

(My vote for the best comeback goes to beviek! Way to go!!!)

“He should be reading editorials in the Ballard Street Excentric ( Free and Worth Every Penny of It ).”……………………………………………………………………………..And he certainly would never get any decent sleep again…(The BSE — I’m always putting in my 2¢ worth, but I wouldn’t give you a plug nickel for it.)

Good mornin’, IMudd!!! We ARE the denizens of Ballard St.!!!!!

Glad to see you aboard! How were the storms out your way last night? We had major thunder and lightning, but very little damage.

Chip’s about to leave the crazy world of Ballard Street and enter The Crazy World of Arthur Brown.

….zzzZZZZZzzzz…. (snck)…..zz..zzzZZZZZ……. (pf***t)…..Zzzzznkt… zzzzzzzzzzz……

zzzzzz…Zzzz…..

Chip has to come to grips with the grim realities. Rehab wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Ear hair is ugly. This is your last second chance.

zzzzzz…..

@ Ballard St. Denizens

Who thinks we ought to wake up ZZzzzzzz…Monkeyblues??

Hey, come on, pipe down will ya? Susan’s sleeping……shhhh….

ZZZZzzzzzzz….. (hic*)…. zzzzzzz

I saw this on CSI.

Mmmmmmm…. zzzzzz….

Say goodbye to the folks, Number Six. It’s time for your medicine!

Been there..done that..just like Chip…

Had to go buy a new shirt later that week..(and a nose hair

clipper)

zzzzzzZZZZZZZ….!!!!!!!

zzz… zzz….. zzz….

I tried to save him………..

zz… snick…. snort*… hu… wha….??Ed….na… uh….????

Stel…? at you…???

EDNA…..??^^^AAAAHHHHHHH…!!!!!!!^^^^^^^^^

G’mornin’ folks!Thanks, Varnes. for shushing them…a girl needs her beauty sleep…Sorry they woke you up, Monkey.At least before they scared you with that face they let you get to the…um…. blast-off part.

And before you saw Dame Edna’s clone.

Six! Why are you scaring the Monkey!He’s been working hard…. even if he IS a naughty monkey… I say let sleeping simians lie.They will anyway.Stel… no WAY did I rake in the dough from parade participants…. sigh… I wish!as I said yesterday, I gave them all a flat BSMDP price of $29.95.The simplest color jobs cost me half that, and the ones like Zeke…. wow…that one cost me hundreds! In fact I’m $3703.37, very approximately, in the hole on The B.S. Memorial Day Parade.Civic duty indeed!I’ll be selling discount turkey sandwiches and pot pies, along with Beviek, till we run out of turkey….a percentage goes to help my recovery.I WAS selling discount books with tickets for future haircuts… till I realised I’d have no income in the fall that way.Plus I owe Freddie, my shampoo “boy,” 3 weeks back wages…That’s a LOTTA Alpo!I’m ever so lucky that he loves turkey…even the really odd bits…

You rang??

Marg!No one EVER rings for him!I feel sorry for him (a little) but…not sorry enough not to yell “Hide the children!”

@SusanSunshine

Awww…I bet Freddie’s a big hit with the ladies…you just want to take him home and take care of him.

Tell you what. I’ve been doing a land office business at SCHAABS and WWOI in the past couple of weeks. I’m looking to invest. Need a silent partner? Talk it over with Mrs. B. Maybe we can collaborate on an advertising campaign…

we can print either BSSSBS or Busy Bees Do salon on these.

…. um…, hey everybody… whut day is it? Can I git a “do-over”?… seem to have missplaced a day sum wares…. hmmm..++++++++++++++++++++++++++strange dreemz indeed, most peculiar…. whuts these purple hairs here on my…. oh my..+++++++++++++++++++++++++++I’m hungry miss Suzy… ya got any of them pot pies left over? (*growl) …oooof..I’ll gladly pay ya tomorra just as soon as Ex opens up that bank he took over… er, um that he “manages”, (did you know he has KEYS to everything?)+++++++++++++++++++++++++++hay Ms Bev… did I hear or imagine you was goin’ toe-ta-toe with some critter wavin’ a gun wantin’ to know who we wuz… Now that jes don’t make sense…. him stoopid enough to wave a gun at YOU anyways… (wanna be a depyudy.?++++++++++++++++++++++++++Stel… whuts burnin"? Are you on far..?+++++++++++++++++++++++++Six…. got any spare meds… mah head hertz…+++++++++++++++++oh, BTW everybody, while takin’ a nap, I had a piffan…. pithan… oppiffin….. “idea”gonna be a big announcement tomorra, hope I remember… what it is… oh, yeah…BIG SURPRISE…!!!!

monkey out

“Send a hearse to Ballard Street immediately!”

Been there, done that!

@ No Mo Yak Milk in Mah Coffeeblues

“Stel… whuts burnin”? Are you on far..?"………………………………………………………………………….Ain’t got no time fo’ dat! -- Now that you’re finally up, I hope you remembered that you have neighborhood watch tonight. I haven’t slept in so-o-o long, I’m going home to bed! Stay alert!

I know that I’ll be asleep before my head hits that pillow…..

@ Number Six

What happened??? Did you get shot?

Got ya covered Stel..!!! (an everyone else on BS)

@ beviek

Am I glad you’re here! Still no report from he who changes his name so often, I can’t keep them all straight . Cover the phones and I’ll go find out what happened!

You know Chip wouldn’t be havin’ this problem if’n he be waerin’ one of my assbestos shirts. They be made for folk jus like ol’ Chip, but them gov’ment people said it were bad for ya health. Can ya beat that, ah shirt that protects ya from fur beun bad for ya?

*Beviek, I found it!!

Not the lady, but several arcs are vanishing! – OK as long as it’s not the story arc.

https://cleoandcompany.net/may-30-2022/

Chip – you’re not supposed to fill those Burgundy glasses up to the rim.

But now, you may quit smoking entirely – forever.

Chip’s a dummy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TC5rXFZSpG0

Just this today @clepandcompany.net

Y’all be safe

Good morning Balladeers, (((((Plods))))) and Miss Susan.