For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for July 26, 2012

Elly, that’s what I said when I compared my mother’s birthing experiences with mine. She had a very easy time. Me? Not so much.

Yup, and they make it look like it was all your fault.

I’ll never forget while waiting for a bus in a small town in former Yugoslavia: I saw a sow nursing a huge litter of piglets whensuddenly she had a call to nature. It looked like a fire hydrant turned on full blast.

I was born on Christmas day. The hospital was short staffed. The doctor asked my dad, “Have you ever delivered a baby before?” My dad answered, “Is it anything like birthing a calf?” The doctor said something along the lines of, “Exactly the same.” Or so that’s how my mother remembers it.

I was born on Superbowl Sunday. The doctor had a wager on a game and wasn’t paying particular attention to his duties. The story goes that my father picked him up by him apparel and “escorted” him to the room.

The price for eating from the tree of knowledge, pain in childbirth for humans.

The most famous quote is “I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout birthin’ babies!” from Gone With The Wind. I’ve never heard of another quote similar to yours.

Get over it, Elly. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s not. As I’ve said before, I’ve given birth naturally and it was much easier than giving birth with drugs and getting a spinal tap. I’d rather give birth to triplets naturally than get a spinal tap again.(And hsawlrae, you obviously have been with a woman who was either in an incredible amount of pain and she said things that she didn’t mean, or you all had other issues that she brought up at childbirth, or you hold a grudge until the end of time. Good luck with the last two.)

I don’t know nothin’ bout birthin’ no babies.

God is love. He is also perfectly just. If the child you love dearly disobeys, you give them consequences so that they will learn not to do it again. Adam and Eve disobeyed. Adam’s consequence was to be cursed to work hard for his food and shelter. Eve’s was pain in childbirth.

As for your second point, women are not second fiddle to anyone. Men and women have different functions. Men were made to provide for their families and women were made to raise them. There is nothing in that statement that says that makes women inferior to men. It is only mankind that makes that assumption.

It’s really not fair when you consider pigs have 30 minute orgasms.

Life is not fair Get used to it.

Lameze childbirth is the easiest on all us mothers. It’s all natural just like that sow in this comic.

1st wife, (a real Mama’s girl - she never should have left Mama) screamed for 29 hours straight. Non-complicated birth, Doc had to break the bag of waters, and daughter came out fine. Apparently, 1st was told that childbirth was painful. 2nd wife, 2 children, total labor time less than 3 hours. No fuss, no screaming. Apparently, no one ever told 2nd that child birth was supposed to be painful. As an ER nurse, I’ve “played Johnny Bench” (thanks Bill Cosby!) 12 times, once to a young lady delivering twins in the back seat of a car. Give the non-screamers vs. the screamers a 65 to 35 advantage.

Try pushing a watermelon out of the tip of your wang, then we’ll consider it even…..

Ever notice that the people who believe the “tree of knowledge” actually exists, without question, are the same people who refuse to acknowledge proven facts staring right in their faces?