Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for June 12, 2012

Arsenic and Old Lace.Monty used to sing Gilbert & Sullivan with Doily Carte.

Personally, I find doilies quite creepy.

They’ll keep the dust off his head and shoulders…

Here’s a doily, circa 1945, found in the Ballard St Sheriff’s Office.

@Future Sheriff MonkeybluesI see yer whole posse was dancing up a storm at the Tiki last night.

Yaaawwwwnnnnn… mpff… hmmm…. yawn…Omgosh! Is it Tuesday???I’m so sorry everybody….I guess I slept right through the meeting at Monkey’s Tiki bar….Oh Monkey!I’m flattered…. and I will try to faithfully fulfill all my offices as assigned….Uh oh…. anybody got any…. oh gosh….wait…. one le_t… (can’t waste it there) …. any "f’"s?I just ran out.I pledge to bake special campaign banana bread, and wear the monkey-toe socks whenever they’re clean….Can I also be the Monkey campaign song lyricist?I could even crochet a new Sheri_ _ doily (could somebody send those letters, please?) to replace the one X ound …. discovered.But right now…. I seem to need some more sleep….

Tomorrow I’ll bring Monty a whole pile of old “Workbasket” magazines, if I can dig them out of my shed.They’ve been needing a home.

and btw I suspected that was your sister…. she looks so much like you…especially the mischief in her eyes…

Or do you use the same filing system as I do?

Monty has quite a few daily doily dandies…

and, then… there are the very special antique antimacassars that he saves for special occasions like Tickle-Toes Tuesdays or Whimsical Wednesdays on Ballard St. (can’t say Flighty Fanciful Fridays until Susan Sunshine receives her F shipment.)

(and in his spare time, Monty loves to crochet canoes for Barbie and Ken)

late 19th C….

Monty has been instrumental in updating old-fashioned fads and making them work in today’s face-paced world. Safety pins, thanks to Monty, are not only alright to use, but make a fashion statement themselves!

@ beviek

Although I can’t prove it now, I did leave a comment at Rogue Symmetry (which was absolutely brilliant!) yesterday. I just went there, because I noticed Derrick replies to all the comments, and it was GONE!!! …. DISAPPEARED!!!I cannot, for the life of me, explain how or why, but I am royally (yes, FSM , I am now in the royal ranks), royally PO’d! Anyway, I just needed to spout off….

Somehow, I doubt Dandy Don Meredith is represented in Monty’s book.

Judging from the litter of limes and little umbrellas lying around the Tiki Lounge this morning, I guess the Mega-ritas and the Tequila Suzy Sunshines were a big hit last night. Combined with Mrs. B’s brownies it must have been a heck of a bash. Glad everyone had a good time.I was still on the Recovery Pad after 5 days and nights with Lafitte and his crew – way to much toasting Capt. Morgan!

To ALL:In light of me assistin’ Ms Suzy in findin’ her “Missing F’s”, I see a speshul need to use mah speshul talents and Xpeeriance in locating missin’ “stuff”… therefore, as a communitee servis A’hm startin’ … “FSMB’ Lost & Found”….

When I come across sump’n miss placed, ahl jess put it in there… an if yer missin’ sump’n, then let me know, ah’l find it fer ya!!!!

An if’n nobody claims stuff, ahl put it up fer bidden, highest bidder gets it..!! Proseeds go to a charity of the byers choice…!!! Hows that sound…???

Furst item in the bin fer claimin’ is a old cowbell that wuz found when we cleaned out Esses old Sausage Hut…. so’s ahm thinkin’ it rightfully belongs to someone hear on BS…. lemme know, spread da word…!!!

PS… Ms. Stel…. ah may have found another cowsuit to replace yer old one…. but ahm werkin; on it….!!!

@ beviek

Here’s 2 more to add to the mix:

theme from The Monkees

Shock the Monkey

FOUND:won un-attatched red spike shoe…. uh, missing the other… (no questions aksed/anserd)

Good Morning again, everybody!I’m a bit more rested now…

Wow, Monkey — those F’s are beeeoootiFul….Thank you! MUCH too Fine to use in comments like this…

I did order some regular F’s From ComicsCommentSupply.com, but all they sent so Far was capital ones… lower case is on backorder.I thought x_Tech might have some in stock locally, but he hasn’t said. X?

As For the lovely shoe… I’m aFraid it’s not mine either…. there was a day when I owned some 6" 1940’s red snakeskin platForm heels, and even danced till morning in them… but now I could only wear them to….um…. never mind.

Bev – yeah, still no speakers…. but I’ll take a look,

But…. sniFFle… I actually asked FSMB early this morning whether I could be the campaign lyricist …. and he said OK.I think we need a special song just For our special Monkey.I was going to start by revising the M-O-N-K-E-Y song, and making a campaign version…cos everybody knows that tune and can sing along…Copyright might be an issue with any oF them when we run a national campaign…like “MonkeyBlues For President 2020” ….but For now, Ballard County is such a small market.

X_Tech! — how did you get into my living room? Oh…. that’s yours.Whew….

And Monkey, look up… I think we were both posting about the red shoe at the same time!

ok, ok… gotta git mah mind off dem SHOOZE!!!!…

Baseball… … um shotguns…. hammers… um… tractors… peppers (Hatchoooo!)…. red hot peppers…. red hot… ….*…*(hot Shooo!!)

uh oh…. DANG!!!

I was just wondering, kind of out of the blue you understand, and for no specific reason at all, does anyone know where I could go to get some GREEK text translated?????

@ Linguist and Future Sheriff Monkeyblues

Δεν πειράζει. Βρήκα έναν μεταφραστή. Τώρα, εσείς και οι δύο πρέπει να συμπεριφέρονται.

όλα είναι ελληνικά για μένα

Bev — you Found some? I’m still waiting For lower case…

And Monkey…. sure, I’d try them on…. as long as I don’t have to go For a hike.

Suzy…!!!!Look wut I jus found behind the munkey’s divan….!!!A lotta f’s left over frum all dem uh, luminum cans…!!!They wuz kinda “flat” when they wuz warm… I guess I shoulda kept Em cold… But there they wuz, just waitin’ fer someone ta use Em…. Ya reddy???? Here goes…!!!“Pffffffffft”Pffffffffffffffffffffft!"PffffffffffffffffffffftPffffffffffffffffffffftPffffffffffffffffffffft Pffffffffffffffffffffft…. Pffffffffffffffffffffft…..Pffffffffffffffffffffft…. Pfth… Pffffffffffffffffffffft….Gotta come git the rest later…. !!!

Howdy everyone! I believe Beviek mentioned me yesterday and I thought I’d stop by. This sure looks like a fun place to comment. I will be checking in a lot now. I sure appreciate the invite from Stelbel too!

Wow, looks like you all can teach me some fancy html stuff too. What amazingly sparkly and aesthetically pleasing comments

Hi Rogue - Welcome to the -madhou um…. to Ballard St.

I gotta check out your strip too!A blazing couple of blazing hot days here when I was already run down has sapped me of the ability to get much done….nice to rest in the shade here amongst friends…. Maybe I’ll stop by the Tiki Bar for a cold…. a …. cold Coke.

(now that we’re involved in politickin’ we need to keep our noses clean…. or a least outta print when they’re…a …er… a little smudged. )

And Բriends indeed I have here!Thank you one and all ⓕor all the gorgeous ff’s…..To Monkey, thanks for opening all those cans for “testing…” such a hard job.And X…. when I tried to paste one of those tall ones I realised you must have done all those sizes with headers. _WOW… _ thanks!

Beviek, my friend, you always come through…. thanks. Now I can type “friend!”

Actually I do appreciate the multiples, cos you can only get so many pastes out of a letter….f’s are pretty delicate….s’s bend easily…. e’s are a bit more durable…. actually o’s are the strongest….nothing to break off. (oooh a word with TWO f’s and no problem at all now!)(Good thing cos in a campaign you always need words like “official” and …um…. “offishul”)NoIcan’tspell — thanks, it’s lovely.Wonder where Beviek saw another.

Wow….. it’s almost Whimsical Wednesday…. wonder what Stel will be…why do I think the Linguist will be a pirate?

Monkey — stopping by as soon as I water my tomatoes, for a Coke and some more f’s…. hope that’s OK!

X …. Is TWO “bigs” bigger than ONE “big”??

Wow!

How about THREE??

I never knew that! Thanks, X.

And thanks Beviek! Sorry I didn’t show up, Monkey, but you never answered so I went to Beviek’s wiith the “girls” ….But never fear….maybe after work tomorrow?

is he also a member at the fancy pants club?