Pickles by Brian Crane for July 04, 2012

Copy that — Houston

When I was a kid we would at the right moment sneak up behind an outhouse and set off a few lady fingers. Most interesting reactions.

You better obey her Earl. You’re still not tooold to spank.

I tell my grandson that all the time. Happy Independence Day, everyone.

Hope grandpa can sew your fingers back on or give you new eyesight.

Opal knows how to make sure that no one is having any fun!

I once tried an M-80 in a gopher hole; it was a Caddyshackmoment.

Opal’s idea of fun is nagging Earl to death.

My wife takes our youngest grandson to the Farmer’s Market.I take him shooting (.22s)Me = 1, Her = 0

She shows him how to make a wreath.I show him how to fly a R/C airplane.Me = 2, Her = 0

She feeds us.Me = 2, Her = 100

My grandpa on my mom’s side was no fun at all. He was a bear (or equivalent to me as a little kid). And my dad’s dad died when I was nine months old. So I never got to experience fun grand-dads. But I can see where this would be often true.

As with anything else, education is the answer. My dad taught us how to shoot and then how to care for the guns afterward. He also taught us not to point them at anything we didn’t intend to kill, ‘cause what comes out that end WILL kill.My mom taught us about fireworks … how to set them, how to light them off, and to be somewhere ELSE when they explode.The opportunities are endless .. we could be teaching the next generation all sorts of useful things.Examples? Sure … Try getting argumentation and debate on the required list in schools — starting in grade two.Teach critical thinking skills at all levels.SEX EDUCATION — lower the incidence of children having children.I’m soon to turn 70, I handle power tools, heavy machinery, cars, trucks, firearms, fireworks, chainsaws and all sorts of other ‘dangerous’ stuff. I still have all my body parts. What made the difference is EDUCATION!

Amen Pathfinder!

It’s the old Mars and Venus thing…

On construction sites where we used dry ice, a common lunchtime trick was to half-fill a plastic soda bottle with water, drop in some dry ice, screw on the top, and put it behind someones chair, and get away. A minute later, BOOOOMMM!

Good times.

Grandpas Rule, Grandmas Drool!

PICKLES IS JUST THE BEST! KEEP UP THE WONDERFUL STORIES.

LOL LOL. Poor Opal.

xxx

My older brother and his buddies would make canons out of tin cans and set off firecrackers and M-80’s. Loud and fun. Love fireworks and would do this with my grandchildren but they moved to another state. Took my daughter crayfish hunting (catch & release), fishing and ice skating on local ponds. Hope she’ll do with her children.

Opal, like me, has probably heard so many stupid things that she needs to refer to the top ten list rather than the stupidest thing. Like the case of the man who was well and truly killed by a drunk driver, and the state is making his mother pay the costs of cleaning his blood off the street.

I love ya’ Earl, but to be honest, I can see Ma Middleton, Lola or Lil being a heck of a lot more fun Grandma’s in comparison to you!

Disney’s Celebrate America — A 4th of July Concert in the Sky 2011

My mom told us when she grew up her mom was very mean to her threatening her, she was not allowed to cook, older sister was adored. My mom has a low self image of herself. When her mom lay dieing she did not want my mom there, only the youngest son. Her brother, gone for five years, bullied her. Her dad treated her like a queen she has stayed a daddy’s girl at 87.

Definitely more fun than this grandma.