Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for July 13, 2012

Where was Chuck when I had a group of seagulls use me as a toilet!!??

@Beviek, Don’t worry, if I really were a toilet, I wouldn’t be a blasted auto-flushing one.

Run, Floyd, RUN!!!

Introducing…The Chuck Spot-Matic

“Aw c’mon you guys,” thinks Chuck… “it’s good clean fun…”Oh dear….I hope I didn’t give him the idea! Maybe he saw what I got the Ballard St. Soapworks to donate to the Monkey’s campaign.

X — does it come with Chuck?He’s spreading himself awfully thin!

Thank you so much, though, for promoting Susan and Marg’s Ultra Brain Bleach.I know you’d only tie our product to another one that’s trustworthy and efficacious, so Chuck’s Spot-Matic AND his Beer Fortified Cleansing Wash and Lawn Revitalizer must both be great stuff….even if the latter does (cough) sound like it would take the hide off an elephant.Anyway, let us know if your orders get close to exceeding the sample bottles you have on hand.Haven’t seen you around much…. of course, I’ve been away a lot too…but I’ve got a fresh basket of tomatoes from the farmer’s market if you’d like some.

Bev — so great to see you back!

You too, Six!

And Bev…. from yesterday….My goodness…. that wasn’t ME in that picture!!

It was a particularly distraught client, anxiously waiting my return.

Don’t worry, though…

She’s happy with her festive new look….

Everyone commenting on this strip all I can say is Thank You, your comments are outstanding! Unfortunately my comments are usually dull so I’ll just have to observe and learn from the best. :)

this bodes not well…

Good morning, IMudd !!My goodness, I’m sorry to hear that you hurt yourself yesterday. Do not do anything today!!! If you had bad luck on Thursday the 12th, the how bad could today be since it is

(seriously, I hope you’re OK! Please be careful!)

Nice dolly but Chuck, wagon. You could have rinse water too.

We haven’t seen FutureSheriffMonkeyBlues this morning. Could he be the object of Chuck’s clean up campaign ? Just saying…..

Hey Stel, did you see my post re: Chuck & MonkeyBlues ?Haven’t seen or heard from the candidate today. Do you suppose he’s in hiding form Chuck, who wants to clean up politics and politicians ?

blues

(Shhhhhh….. not to worry fair citizens… Teh munkey is on doody… shadowing this Chuck feller… He’s defnitly knot a BS rezident… And casts a rather intimidating presents in our nayberhood… Ah thinks he’s upta no-gud an till ah git a response frum Inner Pole… Ahl jus keep Mah distanse an obzerve, an at teh sane tyme warn folks ta steer clear… Beins it’s Fryday teh 13nth an all, if’n he poots on a hockie mask ahm callin in teh Guard…!!!!)Too bad Batpug is at SCHAABS gitten a mini-fayshul… Jus sayin…

@ Number Six

All illegal skateboarders were detained a couple days ago for a few hours. This happens to be Holz’n’Mihed Jones, who was able to reach out to one of the “temp” office assistants down at the Ballard St Jail, desperate for a cigarette!

Holz’n’Mihed Jones :

and his co-hort, Mad Rico Dazzle :

!http://animaltv.webs.com/photos/null/monkey-tribal-funny-monkey-pictures-05.jpg"width=’225!

Mad Rico Dazzle

@ Rogue Symmetry

This is my 4th try at getting a message to you! It either won’t go through or I get interrupted.

So, where are we with everything….? Oh, yes! Your request re: anti-smurf chemspray is being done as you read this. (The smurf contingent who were anxiously awaiting your decision was very disappointed, so they’re moving out of the area.)The Blue Man Group, however, heard through the “grapevine” that you were interested in having them drop by now and again, and asked that you keep on hand some special formula blue paint and about 2 pints of Chuck’s Beer Fortified Cleansing Wash and Lawn Revitalizer. Use your Ballard Street PayMe card and a sample bottle (6oz) of Marg’s & Susan’s Ultra Brain Bleach is yours at no extra charge. (Blue Man message courtesy of x_Tech)

It looks like everything should be in order by Tuesday’s closing. REMINDER: The Mushroom House CANNOT be painted psychedelic colors or any colors other than white, no matter what Beviek says! It’s on the National Register, for Pete’s sake!!!

Finally, there’s a nice burger place right down the street from you — Ballard St. Burgers & Shakes (BSBS) and they just added a new carhop service! (cash only, 1962 prices!)

@SusanSunshine

What a lovely job you did on Clara Mae’s hair. It really looked like a lost cause the other day, but it’s quite becoming now! And her make-up is perfect! She may almost outshine her daughter at the daughter’s wedding! Well done!

@ Linguist

My apologies for the lateness of my reply. In the meantime, I see that Future Sheriff Monkeyblues has determined that Chuck is up to “no good”. I’m sure we’ll get an update shortly!

@ Future Sheriff Monkeyblues

I found you a new recruit seeing as how you’re so short-handed.She just graduated from the Academy and her specialities are olafactory and auditory forensics. Her name is Officer Josephine (“Jo”) Friday. Do you want to schedule an interview?

Stel… and Beviek, too, if you are likewise concerned…

I don’t think here’s any way Clara Mae will out “do” (pardon a hairstylist joke) her daughter, Myra Kaye, at Myra’s wedding this evening.

We’ve worked so hard at finding trim and accessories and hair coloring that all share the same palette…

BTW, Clara will be wearing a lovely dress in the darker lavender shade, not that blue checkered shirt she wore to the salon….

while Myra’s sister Kara Marie, and her little daughters Mary Kate and Kylie Mara, will have hair and dresses in the various pinks, as maid of honor and twin flower girls.

sigh … so sweet….

And Bev… sure, if you want it you’ve got it!I have loads of glitter to match…

I have to warn you… it IS a bit confining when it comes to wardrobe color choices…you probably wouldn’t want to wear your orangey-red shorts or your sparkly green bathing suit with it…hmm… though…. hey, why not!

Six… Now I’m going to have to figure out this whole story you’re talking about.

Did the usual suspect figure into it?Did you see what I said to her earlier on Brevity?

You know how I hate feuding…but even to me, it seems odd that someone who already got banned once still doesn’t get it.

Linguist… please…we all know the Monkey.

He’s playful, and prone to a few monkeyshine’s…but he’s a good guy, whose heart is in the right place, or so many of us wouldn’t be supporting him for Sheriff, and we especially wouldn’t be his friend.

We’re happy to welcome you to Ballard Street, be friends, and hang out with you….

why do you want to make trouble for another good friend, when you yourself know what it’s like to be trolled?

@ jimmyh43105

You’re not the JimmyH that lives at 43105 Ballard Blvd, off of Ballard St. Ext., are you? My mother went to school with your aunt’s 2nd husband’s 3rd cousin, Alma JeanJ. Wow! Small world! Last I heard, you were in the peace corps in Lichtenstein. How long have you been back? What are you doing now? Listen, if you need a job on Ballard St., there are plenty to be had. In fact, I’ve got openings at the hotel, the Wonderful World of Inflatables and the Costume Annex, and I know they’re always looking in the Sheriff’s Dept. and the Fire Dept.

If you’re interested in the Fire Dept., I know they’re desperately short staffed. Give my friend, Capt. Blaise (“Blaze”) Firestone, a call.

Does Chuck do teeth, too?

https://cleoandcompany.net/july-13-2022/

Good morning Balladeers, (((((Plods))))) and Miss Susan.

No teeth, but the other voices in my head are annoying. @ cleoandcompany.net

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LtjzQaFZ3k

And we have an official inventor in the house!

Y’all have a great day! (((((HuGz!)))))