Try this Red: The rules to the game of Brockian Ultra-cricket, as played in the higher dimensions are strange and inexplicable. A full set of the rules is so massively complicated that the only time they were all bound together to form a single volume, they underwent gravitational collapse and became a black hole.A brief summary, however, is as follows:
Rule One:Grow at least three extra legs. You won’t need them, but it keeps the crowds amused.Rule Two:Find one good Brockian Ultra-Cricket player and clone him off a few times. This saves an enormous amount of tedious selection and training.Rule Three:Put your team and the opposing team in a large field and build a high wall round them.The reason for this is that, though the game is a major spectator sport, the frustration experienced by the audience at not actually being able to see what’s going on leads them to imagine that it’s a lot more exciting than it actually is. A crowd that has just watched a rather humdrum game experiences far less life-affirmation than a crowd that believes it has just missed the most dramatic event in sporting history.Rule Four:Throw lots of assorted items of sporting equipment over the walls for the players. Anything will do – cricket bats, basecube bats, tennis guns, skis, anything you can get a good swing with.Rule five:The players should now lay about themselves for all they are worth with whatever they find to hand. Whenever a player scores a ‘hit’ on another player, he should immediately run away and apologize from a safe distance.Apologies should be concise, sincere and, for maximum clarity and points, delivered through a megaphone.Rule Six:The winning team shall be the first team that wins.
comicgos over 12 years ago
No kidding – I’m with you on that!
Catfeet Premium Member over 12 years ago
Red, that sounds like two new Olympic sports!
chireef over 12 years ago
it gets real exiting when you use baseball bats in sports like chess
Agent54 over 12 years ago
Try this Red: The rules to the game of Brockian Ultra-cricket, as played in the higher dimensions are strange and inexplicable. A full set of the rules is so massively complicated that the only time they were all bound together to form a single volume, they underwent gravitational collapse and became a black hole.A brief summary, however, is as follows:
Rule One:Grow at least three extra legs. You won’t need them, but it keeps the crowds amused.Rule Two:Find one good Brockian Ultra-Cricket player and clone him off a few times. This saves an enormous amount of tedious selection and training.Rule Three:Put your team and the opposing team in a large field and build a high wall round them.The reason for this is that, though the game is a major spectator sport, the frustration experienced by the audience at not actually being able to see what’s going on leads them to imagine that it’s a lot more exciting than it actually is. A crowd that has just watched a rather humdrum game experiences far less life-affirmation than a crowd that believes it has just missed the most dramatic event in sporting history.Rule Four:Throw lots of assorted items of sporting equipment over the walls for the players. Anything will do – cricket bats, basecube bats, tennis guns, skis, anything you can get a good swing with.Rule five:The players should now lay about themselves for all they are worth with whatever they find to hand. Whenever a player scores a ‘hit’ on another player, he should immediately run away and apologize from a safe distance.Apologies should be concise, sincere and, for maximum clarity and points, delivered through a megaphone.Rule Six:The winning team shall be the first team that wins.
gobblingup Premium Member over 12 years ago
Tennis balls are fun too!
Rickapolis over 12 years ago
Lacrosse balls?
Comic Minister Premium Member over 12 years ago
Ok let’s go with that.
Linda Solomon over 12 years ago
<3
boldyuma over 12 years ago
1968..I went down to Thrifty’s Drug store to spend
some of my paper route money.I bought a new toy on
the market called a “Superball.”..Bounced it around
on the floor inside the house a bit..Fetched my bat and went
outside in the backyard..‘Swing’,and a miss. ‘Swing’, and
a miss…..‘Swing’….and I never saw it again..Similar thing
happened when I bought a 5 cent balsa wood glider..
Dust devil came along and took it 500 feet in the air and
3 blocks down the street. Sigh, I just can’t have nice things.