Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 20, 2012

Alas, poor pig.

When this choice is made often the other half of the partnership is uninformed for weeks or months, if ever.

♬Celibate good times, come on!♬ (Had to get that out of my system.)

There’s an old joke about some high religious leader, going to heaven, and calls for all the holy books ever written. Soon the angels hear him yellling and ask what’s the amtter. He yells out: They said to “celebrate” with an ‘R’!"

celibate! celibate! dance to the music! (sorry, three dog night…)

Wait a minute….. back up….back up…

Am I supposed to believe Piggy and Pigita… ever…. um…. were…. I mean did…. er…that this would be a change in their relationship?

Pig must be Emily Litella’s cousin.

If she wants to be celibate, she can do that. Pig can do better. (And, to answer Susan Sunshine’s question, no, I don’t think they ever … um … “took their relationship to the next leve.”)

Don’t impotency and celibate mean the same thing? Well, I been celebrating for years!

Pigita wants to be celibate. Funny, I thought that by dating Pig in the first place she had to realize that’s all she was ever going to be. Pig ain’t got a clue when it comes to sex.

It may be Three Dog Night, but it doesn’t look like there will be any two pig nights.

Oh well, sex often gets in the way of masturbation. Does that still count as celebation?

Only ONE drink for the two of them? Which one is going to celebrate with this one drink? Are they going to share in ONE celebration? Questions, questions…

Let her go, Pig! This is your chance to dump Pigita for good! And I do mean for good! Poor, late lamented Sweet Fanny would never have treated her beloved husband this way!

Why men need to listen better.

Which base is she talking about?

There’s an impotent difference between celibate and celebrate.

It really is not a bad way to be.

too bad

Love Pig’s little tie.

I also love how clueless Pig is.

xxx

Celebrex? .BTW: We should probably get a supply of “Brain Bleach” in from the Dinette Set if this subject is pursued any further than today’s strip.

Pig has good reason to celebrate. Who would want to get it on with Pigita?÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷I just want to celibate another day of living…(Rare Earth)

Luckily he won’t know what he’s missing.

What a loss, pigs have 30 minute orgasms.

cLip-on tie?

Pig will be tootin’ his own horn.

You mean Pig has been getting laid til now?

I can just see the next strip…

Panel 1: Rat and Goat are sitting at the bar when Pig walks in wearing a tuxedo. Goat: “What’s with the outfit?” Pig: “Pigita says I’m Impotent.”

Panel 2: Rat: “and?…”

Panel 3: Pig: "Well, if I’m impotent’ I should look impotent "

Panel 4: Goat and Rat bashing their heads on the bar.

I would really like to see that.

Strictly, “celibacy” comes from Latin and means unmarried. So you can be celibate, even take a vow of celibacy, and still have sex. Over several decades the word has been misunderstood by so many that sexual abstinence has crept in as an alternate definition.

Oh-kayyyy… Anybody else catch the phallic symbol in the last panel, along with the words “Join in”?

That’s funny, x-Tech!

And kinda scary, noIcantspell….LOL..

And Snoopy_Fan … maybe you’ve had a leeetle bit too much caffeine today …. sigh….

Poor Pig, no makin’ bacon.

Now seriously gang, think about THIS: if YOU ever hear something like THAT from someone’s face…don’t you think PIG gave a really smart man’s riposte? blow them away with your happiness for them…(who would do them anyway? never mind) when they expect some form or version of “No!”watch the confusion form…bluff or reality called and CANCELLED! you gotta be SINCERE when you do this, totally ‘in character’…a rare attribute…but the whole thing will work with and against the schiksa schlubbie-brainless anyway…and when and if she actually tells you clearly what she meant, you’re too up to give her the satisfaction of being Lucy- pulling- the- football away…you’re already so pumped you can maintain, and when she corrects you, you can calmly go,"Oh, that. Sure. Good luck with that. Bye. And split. Don’ toss off the keys, Lee…and celebrate all the way out the door…another mindf*ch by the Master of tossing Pearls…to LIVE by. An avatar, a guide. Drink from the words of the wise, my sons and nephews…

What does celibate mean??

I thought pig would be traumatized if he found out what NOT being celibate was o.o

I too think it best for Pig to not add to the gene pool.