Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for September 12, 2012

Big Louie is a drag queen.

And she does her little turn on the sidewalk…

Yeah on the sidewalk, on the sidewalk…

Yeah she shakes her little tush on the sidewalk…

All I can think of now is Shirley Bassey walking a dog. I’m immune to brain bleach so there’s no hope for me. (There never was!)

Little Louie just isn’t in he mood to relinquish the spotlight.

“MY walk….” he pouts.“MY walk. My walk, my EYE.Ptoooie!”

He’ll get over it…..a pat, a cheese flavor MilkBone, a tennis ball left near the sidewalk, a fleeting glimpse of Miss Millie High Maintenance…any one of those will quickly bring back that little doggie smile, even though he growls at the thought cos he hates to admit it.

pcolli — I’m not sure why the thought of Shirley Bassey walking a dog necessitates a shot of Brain Bleach….but NO one is immune to Marg and Susan’s Super-Strength Ultra!I’m rushing you a 5oz sample bottle PLUS a $4.37off coupon…

which is…. hmmmm… £ 2.72 off your first order.

We’ve eliminated the prohibitive expense of international shipping by establishing a small bottling plant in Birmingham….it’s just outside Bourneville, so if you ever visit you can conveniently kill two birds with one stone… so to speak.

Please give the sample a try!

Beviek — thank you for what you said on yesterday’s Brevity… however silly the idea.Made me blush.

I don’t know whether you ever went back to read my answer…. or would see this were I to post it there…. so I’m putting it on Ballard St.

Meanwhile….Lola “Luscious” LaRue seems to be enjoying herself….something to be admired…

Now, if she would just stop by my salon, I could take away 10 years with the judicious application of a deeper, brighter color in her hair….(not that she shouldn’t embrace her real age…but I always figure there’s going to be plenty of time for that when you run out of….um… well…other prospects for embracing….)

Anyway, a more vibrant color for her dress, she has already mastered a carefree expression…a toss to her head…and she’ll look like…OMG….she’ll look like ME….

With that expression on Louie, the hem of the dress may be damp soon.

Fine little girl waits for meCatch a ship across the seaSail that ship about all aloneNever know if I make it home.

" IT’S ALL ABOUT ME !!! "

So they’re not out there walking ’cause Louie gotta go…

It is all about the show. Come on little Louie! Dance! Dance the dance of Life! Little Louie says " I don’t do Ballroom."

OMG….she’ll look like ME….<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>No matter how skillful a beautician you are, you’ll never get Luscious LaRue to look as pretty as you !See you later either at the Tiki Bar or at Storm’s. Let me know if you need a ride.Happy Whimsical Wednesday, all !!

Stephanie my dear, even Shirley, the crowned princess of Ballard Street is amazed and somewhat befuddled. From the depths of the rising sun, from a region of reality traversed by few, from sheer joy, yes from the top of the mountain; you have decreed and realized the happiness of the day. Ballard Street Lives.

On a somber note, @IMudd commented yesterday on a couple of sites that he’d no longer be able to post on GoComics, as of yesterday. Does anyone know why ?

Congrats Red ! You have to be the only person on earth, who knows the CORRECT words to that song, including a lot of cover bands. Now that song is going to rattle around in my brain all afternoon.

@ Lady Lavender

As you may or may not know, purple in all its different shades is a very popular color in Ballard County. These three houses just came on the market this week. I think it will be a tough choice!

This charming traditional gingerbread cottage looks smaller than it really is! 12 rooms and a fenced in yard. In the interest of full disclosure, you would need to know that the next-door neighbor is Chet the Fish Enthusiast, who often sets up displays of his fish-bone collection in the front yard and hopes to augment his income buy giving impromptu lectures to passers-by. This is legal, but many folks aren’t happy about it.

Here’s a real fun house with whimsical pink polka dots. Located five blocks from the center of town, it has a beautiful garden in the back surrounded by a fieldstone wall covered in ivy. (this belonged to Barney the Bartender Burgler, who was recently arrested by BatPug.)

Views of the Cove and Candi’s Mountain are lovely any time of year from this riverboat-style house up in Ballard Heights. It has a “checkered” history, and rumor has it that there is a network of tunnels connecting the Cove and Candi’s Mountain to the house and possibly to the TIKI BAR, which was a speakeasy in the 20’s. Sheriff Monkeyblues might have more information, since his aunts,Theobromina and Theobolda, just put it on the market.

So, let me know if you’re interested in any of these. If not, we’ll keep looking!

Whoo hoo, Ballard Streeters….whimsical Wednesday again!

Stel…. your comment about my “walking-the-dog” look reminded me of a costume I’ve been saving all summer while I was working on Wednesday nights…It’s actually more of a Winter costume cos it’s furry…but I just have to wear it now….

@SusanSunshine

That’s the best costume I’ve seen in ages! Just one question…………………………who’s who?

@Sheriff Monkeyblues

So, did they used to call you “Zip”? You look like you’re training for the Roller Derby. “Zip Monkeyblues”…a great Roller Derby name!

Whew…. is it hot i here or is it me?OH!! It’s the 20 pounds of white fur I’m wearing….Even out of costume I have a ton of long thick hair…. but this is ridiculous for September.All I can say is, glad it’s not black!

Wow, Monkey — that made me realise….are you just used to it, or is that why you jump in the pool several times a day?

Thanks Stel… and that’s me on the… right?

I think so….I don’t have a dog right now…. just borrowed Sammy for the occasion.

Lovely picture of Theobolda by the way….when she was still a fr…. ok, almost still a fresh-faced young woman.

Linguist — that was very sweet….

It being Whimsical Wednesday, it’s fun to bbe out on the street, and the Tiki is close….

I’ll just walk over there thanks.I think Bev is there already, and Stel? … are you going?

Storm…. if you can leave one of your own parties… we do like to gather at the Tiki for these events…Red? X? Happy? Molly?Pcolli, have you been there?Everybody come along!

Didn’t mean to leave out all the L-people…that’s the problem with making a list! And why I never do it…but c’mon, when I say “everybody”I mean Lady Lavender and Larry and Lefty…didn’t add you Linguist cos you’re the one I was talking to in the first place…Or you, Monkey…. cos it’s your bar…and you’d BETTER be there!

Ahl jest fire up the dakeri grinder..!! Jes had teh bearings loobercaded an teh duel articulating flucks capasiters sinkernized…. Shez reddy ta go wen y’all are…!!!(Suzi, ya got any spare nanners’..???)

I’m on my way…. bananas in hand…

(Hahaha – get it?

bananas in “hand”…

oh… um… forget it….

sigh…..)

ha ha ha your funny

ha ha ha your funny

Lola there is (almost) a dead ringer for our dear, beloved Susan Sunshine. So, Susan, if you ever need an alibi (and who doesn’t at some point in life), just look up Lola and little Louie. No jury would ever convict you.

Where has Susan been anyway? Good morning Balladeers, (((((Plods))))) and Miss Susan.