Cornered by Mike Baldwin for August 06, 2024

He’s a “genetically gigantic” abuser.

Where ever he goes, he obstructs something.

Uses up too much oxygen as he obstructs personal space of people around him.

I doubt he’s a flight risk…..they can’t possibly let him board a plane.

That the second biggest fatso me ever seen.

Invoke the mercy rule at the jailer’s plea.

“I’m innocent I tell ya, I was just there minding my own business.”

Who charged him for that!!!!!!

How about just obstructing, period? There’s no justice.

You can lock him up but he’ll still be at large.

As Gabriel “Fluffy” Iglesias would say that individual would fall into the last category of the levels of fatness, “Oh hell no!!!!!”

You’re gonna need a bigger ankle monitor!

Giant-Man: The Later Years.

Hey ain’t heavy, he’s a defendant.

I can’t figure out if Mike loves or hates obese people.

Former goaltender for the Boston Bruins.

Bloated Laws….need I comment more?!

They had to issue a habeas corpus maximus.

How does the defendant plead? Fe Fi Fo Fum.

the guy who the term “At large” was created for

He can’t help it, he’s just a natural obstructer.

The defendant pleads morbidly obese, Your Honor!

Guilty of charging onto the courtroom!

Well, that’s one way to do it — if you don’t have a stable full of amoral shysters at your beck and call.