Daddy's Home by Tony Rubino and Gary Markstein for January 02, 2018

and Gweneyth Paltrow has a daughter named Apple

Spork should meet my cousin Dental Floss. Everyone calls her Flossie

His mother was Spoon and his father was Fork. It’s too bad his father wasn’t Mort. (I was about to post something much more nasty.)

Well… Tony doesn’t seem to have a question for today, exactly…

but perhaps this is meant to have one of these things after it: ?

He says “Nickname!”

Most of us do have nicknames here, Tony…..you may have noticed.

Mine is “Susan Sunshine.”

Meanwhile, the world is all atilt in the land of Daddy’s Home…

It’s a Tuesday, not a Wednesday, and Spork is out there talking to Stan!!

Not only that, he’s sitting on the wall!!

Is that even allowed???

And what will happen tomorrow?

Will Peter still get to talk to Stan?

Or will he go out there and find that Stan is missing?

Or worse… will Stan say "Sorry, Buddy. No Can do.

I already talked to Spork… yesterday."

Nicknames come when you least expect them. Sarcastically!!!

Better than the nickname Plunger.

He should be glad they don’t call him Dweezle or Moon Unit.

And his cousin Swizzle has a brother is named Dip.

I once knew a kid named Henry who went from being called Hank to Hanky to Kleenex to Snotrag (with no offense meant or taken, just boys being boys).

It’s not so bad. He’s even got his own magazine: “Sporks Illustrated”!

Is she pretty?

My first boss called me Boots because I always wore cowboy boots to work.