Ladders are evil. When I was about 5 or 6, my father had been painting the outside of the front porch during the summer. One day, he left the 5-foot step ladder out front when he left for work. I decided to climb it and pretend to paint the house like he had. Then my younger brother came out and demanded I get off the ladder so he could get on. He started shaking it, and I fell off, landing on my back, with the ladder coming down on me. The top not-a-step sliced my chin open, and there was blood everywhere. My mother came out to investigate the screaming, then called my father to come back and take me to the hospital a couple miles away. At the hospital, surrounded by some older relatives and my dad’s coworkers, the doctor put me in a straitjacket and strapped me to a table so my head couldn’t move. My dad claimed that the doctor used painkiller, but I can verify that I felt every one of those seven stitches and was screaming the entire time. My parents liked to laugh about it later, but what no one else seemed to have noticed was that I’d landed head-first in the hedge lining the sidewalk, and there’d been a stump about 2" in diameter with a wicked angled cut that was still fairly sharp. When I hit the ground, I turned my head and saw the stump just a couple of inches away from the back of my neck. I tell you, ladders are evil and want to kill you.
seanfear 2 days ago
so it’s horrific comedy
Little Caesar 2 days ago
“Can’t wait ’til Christmas vacation!”
Ida No 1 day ago
Ladders are evil. When I was about 5 or 6, my father had been painting the outside of the front porch during the summer. One day, he left the 5-foot step ladder out front when he left for work. I decided to climb it and pretend to paint the house like he had. Then my younger brother came out and demanded I get off the ladder so he could get on. He started shaking it, and I fell off, landing on my back, with the ladder coming down on me. The top not-a-step sliced my chin open, and there was blood everywhere. My mother came out to investigate the screaming, then called my father to come back and take me to the hospital a couple miles away. At the hospital, surrounded by some older relatives and my dad’s coworkers, the doctor put me in a straitjacket and strapped me to a table so my head couldn’t move. My dad claimed that the doctor used painkiller, but I can verify that I felt every one of those seven stitches and was screaming the entire time. My parents liked to laugh about it later, but what no one else seemed to have noticed was that I’d landed head-first in the hedge lining the sidewalk, and there’d been a stump about 2" in diameter with a wicked angled cut that was still fairly sharp. When I hit the ground, I turned my head and saw the stump just a couple of inches away from the back of my neck. I tell you, ladders are evil and want to kill you.
Diat60 1 day ago
They put you in a straitjacket?!!
ChessPirate 1 day ago
Hmm, wonder it’ll be more like Chevy Chase, Laurel and Hardy, Buster Keaton, or Benny Hill… ☺
Mel-T-Pass Premium Member 1 day ago
So a bit of Cirque du Soleil there?
Just So So Premium Member 1 day ago
Any dog that watches FIREFLY is a friend of mine.
jsimpso1 1 day ago
A Firefly fan? I knew I was right to like Annie.
ajakimber425 1 day ago
More entertaining.
cuzinron47 1 day ago
And I thought it was something interesting, like squirrels.
gcarlson 1 day ago
If I have to use a ladder, I’ll use the handsaw.
Stephen Gilberg 1 day ago
Dogs must see “John Wick” a bit differently.
Strawberry King 1 day ago
Grab the popcorn. This is gonna be good.
ellisaana Premium Member 1 day ago
We had a neighbor who would use his lawn mower to trim his bushes. It was prime entertainment.